Cut Up

Chapter Twelve

Sky kept glancing at me, worry evident in his face as he continued to drive without hitting someone or something. He did get pretty close, almost running over a squirrel, but he swerved around the scampering creature just in time.

The entire time he was doing all this, I just had my head rested against my palm as I starred at the passing trees and buildings. I occasionally let out a sigh or moved in my seat slightly, but that was the only sign that I was still awake.

My mind, on the other hand, was a lot more active then I was. It kept racing and pulling me into different scenarios and other horrible imaginative things.

And no, they did not involve Adam. Well, not most of them.

They switched every five seconds, involving Samantha, Mitch, the team, my parents, and lastly my life. It was almost worrying, at this moment, how lost I felt.

I mean, my parents hate me all because of my sexuality, all my friends disappeared when I was younger and now I know why, Team Crafted treated my like I was their best friend but I don't know how long that will last- once they find out about who I really am.

I am a normal person on the outside, yes, but on the inside I'm not. I am a piece of a map that is worthless and doesn't show you where to go. I am a white crayon that is only broken into a million pieces for fun and for laughs as I am thrown at others to make them squeal. I am a dead tree that doesn't give anyone shade from the heat or beautiful flowers and leaves that people look at with awe. I am just a mess.

"Please, tell me what you are thinking. Or at least say something." Sky persisted, the worry on his face clear in his voice as well.

"I don't know." I sighed, blinking a few times and making the trees preparing for autumn flicker before my eyes.

"Well, I'm worried about you, Ty. You haven't spoken a word, other then now, and you haven't looked at me. Did I do something?" Adam asked fretfully. I shook my head and slowly turned towards him. He was starring at the road intensely, his hands gripping the wheel with strain and his lips in a thin line.

"Well, I could ask the same about you." I said quietly, reaching my hand out and placing it gently against his shoulder.

Even if I was going through shit, I still care about others.

A sigh left Adam's lips and he glanced at me. A small smile made its way onto his lips and all the tension in his body relaxed.

"I'm just worried about you, Ty. I don't want you to try to commit suicide or hurt yourself again. And I'm worried that's what you're contemplating about. I'm... I just...-" He broke off and glanced at me again. Silence wrapped itself around us and the only noise was the soft rumbling of the car engine.

"I'm sorry," I bit my lip, glancing guiltily at him. Adam raised his eyebrows questionably.

"For what?"

"For scaring you and everyone... I just... I just feel so... lost. I don't know what to feel or who to be anymore," I mumbled softly, looking down at my hands. Sky placed his hand against my shoulder this time, making my head snap back up.

"Ty, the only reason we are scared is because we care about you. Don't be sorry for that. You are Tyler Lox, a wonderfully funny man with a big heart. You are a man with amazing brown eyes and soft brown hair. You are a man with great emotions and a star-like personality. You aren't afraid to be who you are. I don't know about your past or what is inside your head, but I will try pretty damn hard to fix you." He stated, almost aggressively but with care in his voice.

Tears sprang to my eyes and one escaped the corner of my eye. I quickly wiped at it and blinked a few times, holding back the rest of them.

"No one has ever cared that much... other than Mitch... Thank you," I whispered, sniffling a little. Sky glanced at me again and smiled widely.