Cut Up

Chapter Thirteen

Pulling away for air was like trying to pry away from the fireplace on a cold, winters day.

I opened my eyes and started down into his shades, seeing his eyes twinkling behind them.

"You're amazing." He whispered, placing his hand against my neck lightly. I felt my cheeks heat up and chuckled softly, starring at his eyes again.

"And you are beautiful." I murmured, lacing my fingers together with his. Adam smiled sweetly up at me and reached up, using his other hand to grasp the back of my neck as he pulled me down. He brought our lips back together, them more sure of their place, two puzzle pieces just finding their correct piece.

I pulled away for more air and rested my head against Adam's, my heart aching. The flashbacks of my first relationship that was brutally ruined by my mother rippled through my memories and I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath shakily as I tried to push back my tears.

"Ty are you okay?" Adam asked softly, rubbing his hand lightly across my cheek. I leaned into it and forced a small smile on my lips.

"Of course I am Sky. Of course." I lied through my teeth, reopening my eyes. I didn't realize I was crying until Sky rubbed away a tear, worry etching itself into his soft features.

"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly, pulling me down so I was curled up in his arms like a baby. I sniffled and buried my head in his chest, blocking the world out with my hair.

"Max."

"Who's Max?" Adam questioned, sounding even more worried.

"E-Ex boyfriend?" I answered unsurely, actually not know what to classify Max as.

"You don't sound sure." Adam observed.

"I don't know. He only lasted for a day. Then m-my parents..." I stopped, choking down a sob that threatened to rip free.

"Hey, hey shh. It's okay. You don't have to tell me." Adam soothed me, rocking me slightly. I shook my head and sucking in a shaky breath.

"I need to tell someone." I sobbed softly, sniffling and trying to calm myself down.

Adam stayed silent as I took another deep breath and told him everything. Everything about my life, my parents, my best friend, my first love, and so much more. I told him about things that not even Mitch knew. I told him about saving Mitch that day and discovering things in that basement that I never wanted to see. I told him about my 'anorexia' and my depression. I told him everything.

Adam looked down at me and I shied my head away, looking down at my feet.

"Ty... I-I-"

"It's fine. You know what it's fine. I'm a freak." I laughed weakly, pulling away from him and coming to my feet.

"Ty that's not what-"

"No it is! Trust me it is! No one cares! You think I am a freak now. I can see it. I can see it in how you are looking at me. You feel bad though, right? Cause now you got a fuck up on your hands. I just, I can't! I'm sorry I spilled everything to you. Welcome to my shit life! Now that you've seen it you can go. Everyone does. Everyone always does." I snapped, balling my hands into fists so that my nails were digging painfully into my pale palms.

"Ty, hear me as I say-"

"Adam," I closed my eyes and let a single tear fall down my face. What a traitor, "please leave me. Let me go. Please. Just please. I can't take anyone hurting me by trying to help. I always end up hurting someone. So please leave me."

"Tyler!" Adam snapped, jumping to his face and grabbing my hand, making me flinch.

"Hear me out. Please." He pleaded. I nodded slowly and he coaxed me to sit back down on his bed, keeping my hand in his.

"From the first time I saw you, I knew you weren't okay. I knew you were not happy in this world. I also knew you were lying when you said you weren't gay," He added, making my smile slightly, "I really wanted to help you. But I didn't know how. But in a course of a few minutes, you made me fall for you. The real, happy you. You are everything you think you aren't. You are beautiful and funny. You make people smile. Don't give up on yourself. Because I won't give up on you. I know you will get better. I know because I was you when I was in grade school-"

"What?" I cut in, my eyes wide. This joy-filled goofball had depression before? I felt like I couldn't breathe at I starred at him.

He sighed and grabbed his sweatshirt sleeve, which I just realized he was wearing way to go observant Ty, and rolled it up. He turned up his arm and my eyes grew wider, if possible.

"Adam..." I whispered, using my other hand to trace the bumps of healed flesh. They were only slightly faded as they were deep, making his arm look like a tiger had sunk it's teeth in his arm and pulled. I pulled my hand out of his and covered my mouth and I lightly continued to trace the scars.

"Oh my god..." I choked out. Adam looked at me, shame clear on his face.

"This is why I wanted to help you. I don't want you to turn into this. Into a broken person with broken skin. I can't let that happen. And somewhere along the way of my deciding how I want to help you, I fell in love with you, as cliche as that sounds. But I have never felt this way about anyone. And I don't leave the people that are important to me and to their lives." Adam murmured, taking his scarred arm and tracing his fingers over my wrapped wrist. Tears filled my eyes and I looked down at his hand, watching as he traced each fading scar on the gauze.

"I love you." I sobbed, covering my mouth again when I realized what I had said. Adam smiled softly at my expression.

"You are just emotional dear. You don't love me. Not yet. But I will ask you one thing. Will you be my boyfriend?" Adam asked, pink dusting over his cheeks. I smiled widely and leaned forward, pecking his lips softly.

"Of course I will, Adam"

Adam smiled and pulled me into a tight hug. He leaned down to my shoulder and tested his head against it, sighing in contentment.

"And I will do everything in my power to make sure you don't end up as broken as me."

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*shields face from the magnitude of hate comments* I'm sorry I haven't posted in a long ass time! Okay my reason is I needed to pass school. Which I did so I'm going into the Highschool next year yay kill me :D. But now that it's summer, expect more updates. I'm not promising they'll happen cause it is hard for me to force myself to write but I will try. Cause I've been an arse all year. So yeah that's a good thing I guess?

Also I rewatched the Amanda Todd suicide video and sibbed hysterically, again, so I just wanted to let you guys know something: If you are EVER considering suicide or are in deep depression please please PLEASE come to me to talk. When I'm not writing or updating my stories I'm always on here. don't be afraid to approach me, I don't bite. I will always try to help. Because every one of you have and importance in this world and every one of you will be amazing people as you get older. You can all do fabulous things. Don't give up now. Okay?

Love you Warriors.

~Tara M N