Cut Up

Chapter Seven

I ripped my arms from his grasp instantly, yanking my sleeve down without looking at him. I stayed silent, biting my lip to the point of blood shed.

"Well Ty?" Mitch asked, crossing his arms.

"Uh... Well... Uh you see..." I stuttered, tears rising in my eyes. Mitch made some gasping noise and I looked up, seeing that he had his eyes clenched tight and tears were falling slowly from his lashes.

"Mitch I-"

"Get out Ty-"

"What? Why!"

"Then please explain Ty! Cause right now I'm kinda feeling abandoned-!"

"Oh you feel 'abandoned'! You leave me with little to no notice almost every night and go hang out with your boyfriend and you feel abandoned. How about me, huh?! I lost my parents and my family and my friends because they all turned their fucking backs on me and you're all I have left and yet you never are there for me! Don't you dare tell me about feeling abandoned!" I spat, clenching my hands into fists. Mitch's eyes widened and he shrank back slightly into the bed.

I was never, ever this angry.

I looked into his eyes and saw raw fear and I just couldn't take it. I covered my face in my hands and crumpled to my knees on the ground, sobs raking out of my mouth and making my body shake.

"T-Ty....?" Mitch asked hesitantly. I just sobbed harder, choking on the force. I felt like I was going to throw up.

"Ty calm down, its okay..." Mitch murmured soothingly and got up off his bed, crouching down beside me. He rubbed soothing circles on my back, which just made me sob ever harder. He was so nice and I was... I was a bastard.

I gulped back another sob and shivered, pushing my eyes into my head with my hands until it was painful.

"Ty... stop." Mitch said sternly, grabbing my forearms and dragging my hands off my face. I looked away from him and closed my eyes as he squeezed my arms.

"Ty I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm such a bitch. I'm sorry I'm not there. I didn't know..." Mitch cried softly, grabbing my face and turning my head towards him. His face was blotchy and his eyes were bloodshot, tears running from them. He honestly looked like shit. I doubted I looked any better though.

"Mitch it's not your fault... I'm sorry I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry about everything." I whispered softly, throwing my arms around him. To my relief, his arms wrapped around my torso, trapping me in a bear hug.

"Now go hang out with my friends." Mitch joked as he dragged himself back in his bed, his face scrunching up slightly in pain. I scrambled to his side and helped him into his bed the rest of the way before giving him a grin.

"You can count on that Benja." I scurried out the door with a wave of my hand, making a b-line for the bathroom. I opened the door to the men's room and placed me hands on the edge of the sink, feeling more tears fill my eyes.

"God Ty, you are such a FUCK UP." I growled quietly to myself, looking into my reddish brown eyes with pure hatred. I am such an idiot. I let down my best friend and he felt sorry. I made him feel sorry for me. What an attention whore I am.

I felt the familiar tingling on my skin and my fingers twitched.

"No I can't cut here, not here, not now, not ever again." I thought, digging my finger dips harder into the white granite of the sink tops. I sucked in a breath and looked down at my hands, screwing my eyes shut and letting shame wash over me like a wave. I bit my lip again and let the darkness around me from my eyes being closed get to my head, making me paranoid. I deserved this. I deserved this hell.