Nonexistent Love | Genshin Impact Oneshots

2022 NEW YEARS SPECIAL (HUTAO X READER SMUT)

No cuz I'm actually being legit

Hu Tao's uncle/ uncles horrer hoseHOUSE
(IM BACK)

It was a good day in Liyueh. Birds were chirping, zhongli was begging, and the traveler sussy baka X3 was eating pie mon. Zoom onto Hu tao. "I'm Hu Tao lmao"

"No ur not ur a white man"

This was hu taos uncle he was very ugly. He had kids in his basement and wasnt allowed 100 ft within a school (also where tf are the schools in genshin do children just not have education???).

He was feeling very lonely. Until he figured out that Hu Tao was supposed to watch after 4 kids. He got hard and called hu tao up.

"Hi Hu Tao!" uncle jerry said in a sweet voice.

"Hello Jerry." hu tao said in a monotone voice.

"Heard you were watching children! You wanna take care of them at my place? I fixed things up and it looks sooo kid friendly!" jerry said, praying hu tao said yes.

"No." Hu tao responded.

"W-w-w-w-w-what why???" Uncle jerry asked hu tao.

"Uncle Jerry, you were arrested by the police 88 times for touching kids at school. It's not surprising you renovated your house to make it seem more kid friendly. The kids you wanna capture would run after seeing your ugly face. Goodbye." hu tao said, as she hung up the phone. Jerry was sad. He wanted to play with kids. He slunked back to his basement to see the 7 yr old he took from a boat on liyue.

"Sir please dont give us your big sausage again!" said the little boy chained to the wall.

"I'm tired of your bumhole. I need fresher meat. And its schooltime i cant get more children for HOURS." jerry said. Suddenly jerry came up with a god like plan. He was gonna go to hu taos place and take the children!!!!! Pogg!!!! Ep1c!! He started right away. He dashed out the basement leaving it unlocked with the keys inside.

Little Teucer saaw and opportunity for escape, and began struggling. Meanwhile. Uncle terry was doing a fricking marathon, booking it and running to hu taos place. He got there just in time to see hu tao take in little cat girl, a blonde red girl, and a short cold girl. He snuck into the house with his stolen key and went to the closet where he stored his camera facing hu tao's bedroom.

"Aight bb's, stay here imma make you the greatest glizzys you wanna eat! Hu tao said as she left the room. The three kids clapped and sat down.

"I'll give you kids a glizzy too!!!!!11!!1!!" jerry said as he leaped out at the kids. He caught all three and booked it again. He dashed to his house realizing hu tao had seen him leave with the kids. He got into his own home with the kids. He tied them up and sat them down.

"These grilllz are FRESH!111" jerry said. He went downstairs to his basement to surprise little teucer with his new friends. Suddenly, he slipped on white substance he left from a funny time with teucer. He fell down, and teucer appeared with a key. Teucer took jerry and sliced off his glizzy with a key. Jerry screamed and got up. Teucer had gotten his clothes back. Jerry was sad he couldnt capture teucer again while he was like the way he wanted.

He lunged at teucer knowing he already won, but suddenly teucer went "PEDOPHILE" and pulled out a phone he had in his pant pocket. He tried to call the cops, but jerry had a hold of him. No where to run now kid!!!! Back to your chains!!!! Jerry said.

Jerry laughed crazily and said "I NEVER LOOOOOOSE" right as a spear stabbed him in the chest. Jerry bled out and died, both from the stab wound and his pp being missing. The police clutched it up and saved teucer. Hu tao was there too and freed the other kids. And they all finally went home. The end \

Author's Note :: I STRIKE AGAIN!!! Yes after 6 months im back and better than ever. Just kidding I've been beating down kids and making girls cry lololol aight bye everyone I don't like you much but ok -Butterballs/Brother (yes im butterballs now)

— Juls - it's the same writer from the Scaramouche x Reader x Lumine story sorry not sorry