Save Me.

date.

Yaay!! an update!!

"I promise ma, I'm doing fine" I reassure as I get reassured her as I got ready to make her something to eat.
"I just wanna make sure, I hardly get to talk to you sometimes and you know me al-" her sentence get cut off by a coughing fit.
I pause and wait for her to stop "Ma...you good? Do I need to come down there?"
"No no mani don't come out here, it's just a little cold nothing serious, just a little hard to keep up with everything after Devin left."
"I still don't know why he left you alone to come out here, he should've brought you with" I ranted.
"Well the boy went down there to make amends, shit if anything I pushed him out the damn door" she paused for another cough, "he just kept going on and on about how he messed up, I just couldn't take it" she laughed.
"Yeah we're good now though"
"Well that's good, mani, look I gotta go it was nice to hear from you baby and I hope that lil boy treatin you nice" my eyes widened. Fuck I forgot to tell her.
"Yeah about that-"
"I gotta go baby love you" she cut me off in a hurry.
"Love you too" I said slowly, pressing the end call button. What she doesn't know won't hurt her.
I did think about Jah every now and then. I missed talking to him, I missed his laugh..missed almost everything about him but every time I do, the arguments and miscommunication of that relationship clouds over everything good.
I suddenly lost my appetite and felt sick so I finished cooking and put it up.
I dragged my feet towards my room. The apartment was eerily quiet, I hated times like these, when I was left to my own thoughts. Where I can have little conversations in my head about almost anything but sometimes it gets a little overwhelming. When those conversations turn into hurtful comments about my life, my body, my past and I can't do anything be sit there and listen. I laid down on my bed and turned on a movie, turning the volume on max, hoping to drown out all the thoughts. Half way through I slowly started drifting off to sleep.
🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃
"E wake the fuck up your phone is ringing" Seven drowsily yelled at me. I spring up, grabbing my phone, only to realized I fucking overslept and Elijah was blowing my phone up.
Fuck
"Hey I'm sorry Elijah, I overslept, I'm sorry" I quickly apologized as I answer his call.
"Chill ma it's alright, just a little change of plans though. Wear something comfortable, text me your address and I'll be there in about 30" his nonchalant manner instantly calmed my nerves.
"Okay, I'm sorry again"
"Don't worry about it Emani"
I ended the call, sent him my address and quickly got up to do my makeup and hair. I then remembered he said to wear something comfortable "fuck I can't wear that dress, what the fuck am I gonna wear" I look at the clock, 10 minutes. Fuck. I look through my closet throwing clothes everywhere trying to find a good outfit. I look back at the clock, 2 minutes.
"Fuck it I'll just where this"