Pen Pals - Dear Evan Hansen

Chapter 9

TW: suicide

Connor's POV

I shouldn't have snapped at life-is-meh. It's just that the whole thing with Evan and his mom set me off. I didn't mean to take it out on him.

What did he mean by "thank you for everything"? I think for a second before a realization hits me. The only reason he would say something like that is if he was about to do something stupid.

No no no no no

cancer.sticks: hey dude i'm sorry

cancer.sticks: please be safe

cancer.sticks: message me back so i know you're ok

I don't know what more I can do. I don't know where he lives. Hell, I don't even know his name. I can't lose him. He's all I have besides Evan, but Evan's mom is gonna make sure I never see him again, so that's practically over.

Please be okay.

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Connor's POV

"Have you talked to Evan?" Zoe asks me cautiously.

I sigh. Why does she care?

"No, not since last night," I say blandly. "Why?"

She pauses and sighs. She looks like she's trying to find the right words to say as not to upset me. I've never seen this version of Zoe. She seems too concerned about me, and I have no idea why.

"You should text him," she says before heading back upstairs to her room.

"You can't just say that and act all weird then walk away!" I call up to her, but she's already gone.

What is she even talking about anyway? What does she know that I don't? I slip my phone out of my pocket and open up Instagram to message Evan.

c.murphy: hey what's up?

That seems casual enough considering I barely know this kid.

evanhansen: i'm kinda in the hospital rn lmao

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Evan's POV

I can't believe I actually managed to fail again. The only problem is that, this time, I don't have a good enough lie to get out of this.

My mom put two and two together and figured out how I really broke my arm, and I can tell she's disappointed. She stops by a lot to visit because her boss said it's fine if she needs to take time off, but she's been keeping her distance most of today. I don't blame her, though. At least she apologized for last night and for how she treated Connor.

Speaking of him, he never messaged me back after I told him where I was. He's probably freaked out or something and is just gonna ignore me and act like we never met.

I hear a soft knock at the open door, and I look up expecting to see my mom or an RN, but to my surprise, it's Connor.

He seemed out of breath, almost like he ran here. His face showed how in shock he was at what he was seeing. I mean, to be fair, I am covered in bandages and casts with wires sticking out of me. I'd be pretty shocked, too.