Wishes

Leaving

Today is the day the cast leave to go home. I'm struggling. Me and my mum haven't spoken and she is now staying in a hotel.
Ashley is really bad, she can barley breathe and isn't eating or talking much anymore. I'm watching my little sister turn to nothing and I can't do anything to stop it.
I've been sleeping in her room on a chair just in case anything happens. I hear a knock on the door and see Chris pop his head round. He whispers "hey, can I talk to you?"
I nod and head out into the living area
"What's up?"
"Well as you know it's leaving day and I wanted to talk to you"
"Okay?"
"Lauren, I'm going to stay here with you"
"You don't have to do that Chris"
"I know I don't but I want too. You shouldn't be here alone"
"I'll be fine"
"Lauren, I'm staying okay"
I nod and I feel the tears falling, he wraps me in his big arms and kisses my head.
"Thank you" I whisper. I didn't want him to leave, he has been my rock and I needed him now more then ever.
"You don't have to thank me. I'm always here for you"
I lift my head up and smile at him. I put my hands on the back of his neck and pull him into a sweet and soft kiss.
"What was that for?"
"I wanted too"
He smiles and kisses me again. Just as we are getting more passionate I hear Ashley's monitors going crazy. I run into the room and Ashley's not breathing. I tell Chris to call an ambulance. I start CPR.

2 hours later

She was gone! The ambulance had arrived and tried to revive her but it didn't work. My little sister was gone and I wasn't with her. I was too busy kissing Chris instead of being with her.
I was on her bed, holding her. I was numb. I didn't know what to do or to think. My mum was in the living area, I could hear her screaming. I didn't want to leave Ashley. She needed me.
Chris was sat in the chair by the door, he hadn't left since it happened. He just kept looking at me hoping I would say something.
I kissed Ashley's head and got up, I walked into the living room.
"Would you shut up!!!" I screamed at my mother. She looked up at me in shock as did everyone else. Chris was behind me.
"Lauren...."
"NO! She doesn't get in sit here and scream about the loss of her daughter when she gave up on her ages ago. I've been the one taking care of her, taking her to appointments and giving her medication. I've been the one holding her while she cried because she didn't want to die. So you don't get to be upset! You don't get to play the mother now! GET OUT!"
Downey takes my shaken mother and walks her to the garden, I'm stood in the middle of the room, breathing heavily. Chris comes to me and tries to wrap me in a hug but I pull away "don't! Just don't! I should have been in there with her, but you pulled me away! I should have been holding her while she died" I sobbed "but instead I was out here kissing you. I missed my sisters last breathe because of you"
I stormed passed him and out of the front door, I didn't have a coat or anything and it was pouring down with rain. I didn't care.

Chris POV

I knew Lauren was upset and she had every right to be, I shouldn't have pulled her out of that room. She stormed out the door and it's pouring with rain, I grab her coat and go after her.
"Lauren wait please"
She just keeps walking, I walk faster to catch up to her.  "Lauren!"
She won't stop, I reach her and grab her arm so she will stop.
"Let go of me!!"
"No, I'm not going to let you do this. Ashley wouldn't want you to be alone"
She starts screaming and shouting "I am alone Chris! I have no one! My mum hates me, my dad left me and my sister is dead! I have no one left! I'm alone! I'm all alone! My sister depended on me and I couldn't save her! Do you not get it! This is my fault! I'm a damn doctor and I couldn't save my own sister! It should have been me! I should've died not her! This isn't fair! I want my sister back! Please! Bring her back!" She is sobbing so hard, I know she will probably try to push me away but I can't stand here and not hold her. She is hurting. I wrap my arms around her and she fights me, she fights until she drops to her knees, I drop too and I just hold her, we sit in the pouring rain and I hold her. You can hear her painful sob through the rain and I can't help but cry too. Ashley was such an amazing girl, she was so sweet and I knew there was something special
About her when I met her. She was Lauren's world and I don't know what she would do without her now. She can blame me if she wants too, I don't care. I've fallen for this women and I'm determined to be there for her. No matter what.