Wishes

Help

Chris is back bright and early to come and take me home. He smiles as he walks through the door, he hands me a beautiful bouquet of roses and kisses my cheek. The doctors gives me a once over and tells me to go home. I have to rest and take it easy and maybe think about therapy.
As Chris is driving us home, I'm staring out the window. Lost in thought..I don't want to go home. It has too many memories.
"Hey you okay?" Chris asks as he reaches across to hold my hand.
"Yeah. Just thinking"
"About what?"
"About Boston"
"And?"
"I think your right, I need some time away and if your sure you don't mind I would love to come with you"
"Really?"
"Yeah"
He has the biggest smile on his face and he pulls my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles.
As we pull up, I head to the door. Chris behind me, I turn the key and open it. I step inside and I look at the mess, empty bottles everywhere, food containers, the pill bottle from that night still on the coffee table. The pillows and blankets still all over the place.
I look down at the floor "I'm sorry"
He comes face to face with me "sorry for what?"
"That you have to see this" he puts his finger under my chin and lifts my head so my eyes meet his.
"You have nothing to be sorry for okay?"
I just nod "I'm going to go pack some things for Boston, I'll be back in a minute"
"Okay"
I head on into my bedroom and pack up a suitcase, I don't really know what to take or how much to take but I can always buy stuff there if needed. Luckily my passport hasn't expired. As I walk back to the living area, I look at Ashley's bedroom door. I haven't been in there since she died. I slowly open it and everything is the way she left it when we left here the morning of her make a wish. I slowly step inside and I can see her clothes all over the floor, her bed unmade as always.
As I get to her desk I see a envelope, it has my name on it.
I pick it up and sit on her bed, I just stare at it. I don't know how long I'm there for but I hear Chris clear his throats
"Everything okay?"
I nod and lift the letter "she wrote me a letter"
"Have you read it?"
I shake my head no. "Do you want me to?"
I look up at him and nod yes. He comes to sit next to me and takes my hand in his. I open the envelope and hand the letter over to him.

'Dearest Buttercup,

This letter is my goodbye. I know I don't have long left and I know your trying to put on a brave face. But you don't have to be brave for me, you have been my everything for the last 4 years. You've supported me and taken care of me and I couldn't have asked for a better big sister.

I love you so much and I want you to know that I don't blame you. I know you think because your a doctor you should be able to save me, but we both know that's not how it works. Your a doctor because you love being a doctor. And you have saved so many people, you will continue to save so many people. But me, I'm not meant to be saved.

I got to have you as my sister for 14 years, and No it's not enough time but it has been the best 14 years. So please don't blame yourself, don't hate yourself. Please don't mourn me, celebrate me, remember the happy memories we have made together. Remember all the times I was a royal pain in your ass.

I'm going to miss you so much. But I will always be with you. I'm the bubbles to your buttercup.
Remember me.
I love you sis

Love,
Ashley x

Im crying so hard, Chris wraps his arms around me and pulls me in and we sit. He rubs my back and kisses my head but he doesn't say anything. He knows that right now I just need him to hold me.

Once I have calmed down, I grab my suitcase and we head on to the car. We make our way to Chris's hotel and we order some room service. Im not very hungry but Chris insists I eat.
After food, we go and sit on the couch and watch a movie, I lay my head on Chris's lap and he runs his fingers threw my hair. It's so relaxing, I can feel myself nodding off. I feel him pick me up and set me down on the bed.

"Chris?" I mumble still half asleep
"Go to sleep Lauren, I'm going to go sleep on the sofa"
He goes to walk away but I grab his hand
"Please stay with me"
"Okay" he strips down and climbs into bed, I lay on his chest and listen to his heart beating.
"Thank you"
He chuckles "for what?"
"For coming here and saving me"
He kissed the top of my head and pulls me closer
"Always"
I sigh and slowly drift back to a peaceful sleep, something I haven't had in a month.
Hopefully Boston would do me some good and I know being around Chris was definitely going to be good for me.