Wishes

1 month later

WARNING!!!! SUICIDE MENTIONED BELOW!!!

1 month later

It had been a month since Ashley died, we had her funeral and it was everything she wanted. My mother and I stayed out of each other's way. I didn't want to talk to her and she didn't want to talk to me. The cast of the avengers all showed up too, they were very sweet and had flowers and things sent over all in the colours of the different superhero's Ashley loved. I hadn't spoken to Chris, when I left Atlanta I closed myself off from everyone. I didn't want to talk or to do anything other then drink. So I locked myself in my house and did exactly that. He has tried to call but I just can't deal with it right now.
My job was hanging on by a thread and I didn't care, what was the point in me being a doctor if I couldn't save my own sister.
It's Saturday night and I'm sat on the sofa, empty vodka and whiskey bottles all around and another whiskey bottle in my hand. I'm a mess, I haven't showered in a while or eaten anything really. I don't want too, I want it all to end. I want the pain to go away. I look at the tub of pills on my table and I know what I have to do. I empty them all out and slowly start to take one by one. I'm crying, I know Ashley wouldn't want me to do this but I can't live in this world without her.
I don't remember much, I just feel the room going black and my heart slowing down.

I wake up and I am blinded by bright lights, I can hear beeping and monitors all around. I get my bearings and I manage to open my eyes fully. I'm
In a hospital room and I'm alive. Fuck!
I go to move my hand and I feel someone holding it, I look down and there he is. Chris. Asleep on edge of my bed. I wiggle my fingers and he lifts his head, he has black bags under his eyes and his eyes are blood shot. He looks a mess.
"Lauren? Oh thank god"
"What are you doing here?" I croak out. He grabs me some water and I take a slow sip. My throat is so sore.
"You neighbour found you and had you bought here, they checked your phone and called the last number you contacted"
"Oh"
"Lauren what happened?"
"You know what happened Chris"
"Why didn't you talk to me?"
"Because I'm not your burden to take on Chris"
"Your not a burden. I care about you"
"Well don't. I'm not worth it"
He sighed and sat down on the side of my bed, he took my head in his hands and lent his forehead on mine "don't say that Lauren, your worth everything. I know your going through hell right now but taking an overdose? You know Ashley wouldn't want that"
I feel the tears falling down my cheeks "I know. I just can't handle the pain anymore Chris. It's too much"
He pulls me into a hug, and I remember how safe I feel in his arms. We sat there for a while until the doctor comes in, with my mother following behind.
"Lauren it's good to see you awake"
My mum looks at me and she has been crying, she comes over and take my hand. I'm in shock so I don't move.
"Your lucky, there is no permanent damage. Lauren you need some help. I have numbers for places I think you should go too."
I just nod, I'm not going anywhere.
"Please sweetie, listen to the doctor"
I pull my hand away "sweetie? Your joking right?"
"Lauren...."
"No. After everything you've said to me and done to me you think you can waltz in here and start acting like my mother. No way! Get out!"
"Lauren please"
"No get out!" I feel myself getting more angry and Chris can sense it "I think you need to leave" he says to my mum. She is shocked.
She walks past the doctor and out of the door.
"Doc are you saying I have to go to rehab or is it just a recommendation"
"I'm not saying it's mandatory no, this is the first time this has happened and I'm hoping it's the last"
I just nod as he leaves the room. Chris sits back down in the edge of the bed.
"Come and stay with me for a while?"
"What?"
"Come to Boston with me, I can help you through this but I think you need to get away from here from your mother"
"Chris I can't that's too much"
"No it's not. Please Lauren. I want to help you"
"Can I think about it?"
"Of course"
"What are you doing here Chris? Don't you have work?"
"No I'm taking a few months off, it's been a busy 10 years and I want a break"
"Sounds good"
We just sit and talk for a while and it's nice, he relaxes me and it makes me not so sad.
He heads out to get us some food, I didn't want to eat hospital food. When he comes back he has McDonald's in his hands
"Working out England okay then?"
"I've been to England before you know?"
"Yeah I know"
We sit and eat and talk some more. The doctor comes in later that evening and tells me I can go home tomorrow. Chris has offered to come and get me and take me home. I'm not sure what to do about Boston. Maybe a break would be good but a break with Chris? Is that really what I need right now? I just don't know.