Gospel & Intel by Rhizome Olivia Quondam

Your Sin Isn't Special

You say, but God, I was born into the world, not the church. But God, I can't get as holy as these church folk get. But God, I'm trying yet I can't get on these legacy  Christians' level. God, they've been in church their whole life. Who am I?

1 Corinthians 10: 1-5 (NRSV)

"1 I do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters,[a] that our ancestors were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea, 2 and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, 3 and all ate the same spiritual food, 4 and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank from the spiritual rock that followed them, and the rock was Christ. 5 Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them, and they were struck down in the wilderness."

I understand that. But, God, they still never left the church. But God, they never sinned as much as I did. But God, they are your people, and I can only expect your scraps. But, God, I'm not good enough for You.

1 Corinthians 10: 6-12 (NRSV)

"6 Now these things occurred as examples for us, so that we might not desire evil as they did. 7 Do not become idolaters as some of them did; as it is written, "The people sat down to eat and drink, and they rose up to play." 8 We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day. 9 We must not put Christ[b] to the test, as some of them did, and were destroyed by serpents. 10 And do not complain as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer. 11 These things happened to them to serve as an example, and they were written down to instruct us, on whom the ends of the ages have come. 12 So if you think you are standing, watch out that you do not fall."

I understand that God, but these church folks are still your chosen people. I wasn't born into this. What's about my family? What about my upbringing? What about my sins? They're predestined for Christianity. I'm just begging for your leftovers, Lord. I'm not going to ask for more. I'm grateful for whatever you graciously give me. I don't deserve You, Lord.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (NRSV)

"13 No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it."

I understand that. But God, I failed your tests. You say that they did bad too, but I know that I did worse than them. I just know it. Look at me. Look at them.

Proverbs 3: 3-8 (NRSV)

"3 Do not let loyalty and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and of people. 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. 8 It will be a healing for your flesh and a refreshment for your body."

I understand that. But God, how can you say that? You know that they're better than me. You know that I can't compare to them. I am just Your humble servant.

Ephesians 2: 3-10 (NRSV)

"3 All of us once lived among them in the passions of our flesh, following the desires of flesh and senses, and we were by nature children of wrath, like everyone else. 4 But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us 5 even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ[a]—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God— 9 not the result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life."

But I'm a backslider too, God. You already gave me a chance, but I blew. I'm your lost sheep, your prodigal son/daughter. I know that I don't deserve this second chance. I am honored that you forgave me for leaving your grace the mercy. I know I will never be what you decided I would be, because I lost the right to that gift. God, I'm eternally sorry. I'm unworthy of your loving kindness.

Galatians 2: 15-21 ( NRSV)

"15 We ourselves are Jews by birth and not Gentile sinners; 16 yet we know that a person is justified[d] not by the works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ.[e] And we have come to believe in Christ Jesus, so that we might be justified by faith in Christ,[f] and not by doing the works of the law, because no one will be justified by the works of the law. 17 But if, in our effort to be justified in Christ, we ourselves have been found to be sinners, is Christ then a servant of sin? Certainly not! 18 But if I build up again the very things that I once tore down, then I demonstrate that I am a transgressor. 19 For through the law I died to the law, so that I might live to God. I have been crucified with Christ; 20 and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God,[g] who loved me and gave himself for me. 21 I do not nullify the grace of God; for if justification[h] comes through the law, then Christ died for nothing."

So, my sin isn't special, God? So, I'm not too far gone? So, I didn't go too far for You to give up on me ? You still want me? You still love me? You still will work through me?

Philippians 1: 3 - 11 (NRSV)

"3 I thank my God every time I remember you, 4 constantly praying with joy in every one of my prayers for all of you, 5 because of your sharing in the gospel from the first day until now. 6 I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ. 7 It is right for me to think this way about all of you, because you hold me in your heart,[d] for all of you share in God's grace[e] with me, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. 8 For God is my witness, how I long for all of you with the compassion of Christ Jesus. 9 And this is my prayer, that your love may overflow more and more with knowledge and full insight 10 to help you to determine what is best, so that in the day of Christ you may be pure and blameless, 11 having produced the harvest of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ for the glory and praise of God."

Hallelujah, Jesus! Thank you for loving me. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for creating me. Thank you for dying for me. I love, Jesus.