Yours, now and forever.

Chapter 19

I took a long walk back to the camp, my mind circled with all the things I could say into this shell, and all the people I could give it to. I could give it to Noah, an easier way to tell him about what was going on. I could give it to Oliver, to let him know how much I value him as a friend. I could give it to Peter and fill it with a long monolouge, letting out every emotion I have for him. I stopped walking for a second, my mind suddenly shutting down and focusing on only one thought. What are my emotions for Peter? I mean of course I knew I liked him, I wanted to be near him every second of the day.

He was what kept me sane and yet what drove me mad at the same time. I had never been to attached to anyone before, I had never relied on anyone like I let myself rely on him. He made me feel like Neverland was really my home, like I wasn't a lost girl. I was just a part of those who called themselves lost. I treasured every part of him and who he was, and I never wanted that feeling to end. When I was with him I was so nervous, hanging on his every word, but it still felt so easy to be around him, to be venerable with him, in a way that I have never let myself be. Oh my god. Have I fallen in love with Peter Pan? Have I really fallen for a boy who could be so heartless? Have I taught him to care?

I forced myself to carry on walking, this strange thought eating away at my already crumbling mind. The idea of being in love was terrifying for me. I mean, what real example did I have? My dad never showed my mum that he loved her, all he did was abuse us and then rub it in surfaces that we didn't even have anyone to turn to. And even after she died, he never showed any love to me, or even the girls he would bring home every month or so. So how was I ever supposed to expect that I could fall in love one day, and have someone who cared about me? But even in all the madness, the chaos that clouded my mind, a feeling of comfort shone through. Like the tiny beam of sunshine that helps the flower grow in the spring. as much as loving Peter terrified me, it was also so calming. Maybe this is actually what love should be like? Maybe this isn't such a scary thing?

"Are you ok Bella?" I heard a voice say by my side. how have I already reached the camp? "Bella?"

"Huh? Oh yeh, yeh I'm great." I said, jokingly digging Oliver's arm.

"You sure, you look like you've seen your own ghost!" He laughed.

"No no, just deep in thought." We laughed for a second, before his eyes turned to the back of my head, widening in awe. "What? What is it?" I said, trying to look over my shoulder at whatever he was looking at.

"Your hair! How did you manage that?" He said, reaching out to carefully examine Dealla's work. I giggled a little with slight excitement. It really was pretty, and it felt kind of nice to be all pampered up by a friend. "It's beautiful Bella! It really is!" He was saying, mezmorised.

"Do you think Peter will like it?"

"Like what?" Peter called out, strolling casually towards us. Oliver's hands placed on my shoulder, turning me around so that my back was facing towards Peter. All was silent for a second, I turned myself around, expecting almost to see Peter's face frowning at me, jumping to strange and overthought conclusions, but no. His lips as curved into a smile of pure bliss and happiness. All the cheekiness or evil had seemed to leave his eyes, and they were simply filled with peaceful joy, as if he had just seen everything in his life laid out perfectly to admire.

"What is it?" I said, trying to hide the bashful smile that was being forced onto my face.

"How can you be so beautiful my love?" My cheeks shone a rosy red colour at his compliment. "It looks amazing Bella." His arms stretched out, I ran into them without hesitation, we held our embrace for only a second before I gave in to my emotions, grabbing his face and pulling myself up to meet his lips, kissing him excitedly. I felt myself being lifted off of the floor and spun around as he kissed me back.