Behind closed doors

My first Shitpost

(Comedy, Post-Season 1)

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Shadowsan: "Why is the kitchen on fire?"

Ivy: "...Carmen tried making toast."

Zack: "The kitchen isn't on fire, fire is on things."

Carmen: *Nods enthusiastically in agreement*

Shadowsan: *Concerned parental noises*

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Tigress: "That was our first 100% successful caper!"

Le Chèvre: "But we lost crackle-?"

Tigress: "A 100% successful caper."

El Topo: "What about the plan??"

Le Chèvre: "We had a plan...?"

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Julia, walking downstairs: "Why do I smell smok-?"

Carmen, seductively lying on the kitchen counter: "Just my burning passion for you~"

Julia, concerned: "Babe, the toaster is literally on fire."

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Team red are at an ad break in the middle of a movie. (On the TV)

Ivy, half asleep: "Hey Carm?"

Carmen, almost completely asleep: "hmmm?"

Ivy: "Don't ya you ever cry?"

Zack & Shadowsan: "..."

Carmen: "Nope."

Zack: "Wha-?"

Shadowsan, concerned: "Not since you were a toddler?"

Carmen: *shakes her head no*

Player, pausing the movie: "Why?"

Carmen: "Waste of time."

Everyone minus Carmen: "..."

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Julia: "What's the worst decision you made while drunk?"

Chase: "Well... not to brag, but I don't need alcohol to made really stupid decisions."

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Julia, fearfully watching Carmen & Shadowsan battling VILE operatives: "This is insane!!"

Zack, beaming: "You call it insane, we call it Friday."

Julia: "It's Tuesday????"

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Carmen: "I'm a p,"

Carmen: "Pan,"

Carmen: "Panse,"

Ivy: "Take your time."

Carmen: "Girls."

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Zack, banging on Carmen's door: "Carm we need to go, come out!"

Carmen: "I'm gay!"

Zack: "Not what I meant but I support you!"

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Cleo: "Based on genitalia between men and woman, men should wear skirts and women should wear pants."

Maelstrom: "The Scot's were right all along!"

Bellum: "The Scottish did it to conceal more weapons on their person..."

Maelstrom: "THE SCOTS WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG!!"

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Shadowsan: "Where are you?"

Carmen: "Somewhere between numb and a mental breakdown."

Shadowsan: "..."

Player: "..."

Carmen: "Oh, you meant location."

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Paper Star: "I may have a couple knives up my sleeve..."

Julia: "You mean tricks?"

Carmen: "No, she means knives."

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Brooklyn Nine-nine quote

Zack: "I wasn't hurt that badly, you told me the bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be."

Ivy: "Holy sh-,"

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Brooklyn Nine-nine quote 2.0

Zack: "Before you say anything, Ivy bet me 50c I couldn't drink all of that shampoo."

Shadowsan: "That's not what I wanted t-, you drank shampoo?"

Zack: "What??? Nooo..."

Shadowsan: "..."

Zack: "You're the one farting bubbles."

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Le chèvre: "What's that?"

Paper Star: "Oh, just my to do list."

Le chèvre: "...It just has Sheena's name on it?"

Paper Star: *Smirks*

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A Classic:
Crackle: "I'm gonna to try to stuff 25 marshmallows into my mouth."

Tigress: "You're a hazard to society,"

Black Sheep: "And a coward. Do 30."

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No one:

*Black sheep and Sheena killing each other*

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Shadowsan: "What is Zack doing?"

Zack: *Pushing on a pull door*

Ivy: "His best."

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That's it for midnight scenarios! When I find out anyone I forgot to give credit to it will be posted here!!

Happy Reading! ❤️