Right in Front of Me

a place in this world - year 3

Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking.
Trying to see through the rain coming down,
Even though I'm not the only one who thinks the way I do.
I'm alone, on my own,
And that's all I know.

"I'm gonna Floo to Sirius and Remus' Ok?" Harry said to his parents walking towards the fireplace.

"Sure." His mum said, finishing up her lunch. "Everything Ok?" She said it with a knowing mum voice and it took everything to not just break down and tell her what was going on in his head.

"Yeah, just wanna see them and Marley!" He said trying way too hard to be casual. She gave him a weird look but then smiled.

"Ok. Have fun bubs. Tell them hi from us."

When he popped in they were all sitting down at their table.

"Harry!" Marley called, running up to him. "Hi! I missed you!" She said, hugging him tightly.

"Hey Marls!" He said picking her up and twirling her around. "Missed you more!" He heard Sirius and Remus chuckling.

"What's up Prongslet?" Sirius asked. "Did we know you were stopping by today?" Harry flushed. Not unless you knew I was having a sexuality crisis. He thought.

"Er... no. I just... I wanted to ask...er... I wanted to talk to you guys about something sort of personal." He said, his face now as red as his tie for school. Remus nodded slowly and then motioned for Harry to sit down.

"Marls why don't you have a play date with Ephie?" Sirius said, standing up.

"Really?!" Marley shouted with excitement. "Ok! I'll get my new dolls!" When Sirius returned from dropping her off at the Potters, Harry took a deep breath.

"Harry you know you can tell us anything, right?" Remus said as if he knew what Harry was about to say.

"I know... I just... I think... Well... How did..." He sighed, frustrated with his lack of articulation. He knew what he wanted to say, he'd rehearsed it a thousand times to himself. But suddenly he felt stupidly nervous. It's Padfoot and Moony you dolt. He thought. They'll be able to help you!

"Ok." Another deep breath. "IthinkIMightBeQueerAndIReallyDon'tKnowWhatToDoAboutItBecauseIthinkMaybeILikeDracoWhichWouldPrettyMuchBeTheWorstThingInTheUniverseAnd-."

"Harry!" Sirius cut him off. "I got absolutely none of that, and I have a 7 year old daughter. Say it again?"

"I... I think I might be queer..." Harry said, feeling small. "I think maybe I just like the person. And I think that I might possibly have those feelings for Draco... which would ruin my life... So I decided to talk to the two best people I know." He said, exaggerated smile plastered on his face. Remus and Sirius both laughed, then Remus had a look of understanding come across his face.

"H, it's totally normal to not be sure about things like this yet. At the risk of sounding like an old man, you're only almost 13. You're not supposed to have it all figured out. It's Ok if you like Draco in a romantic way, but also you could just have strong feelings because he's your best friend. But it's nothing to work yourself up about." Remus smiled and grabbed his hand.

"You know my friend Blaise?" Harry asked, Remus nodded. Sirius looked puzzled.

"Who's Blaise?" He asked.

"Blaise Zabini. He's a Slytherin in my year. Anyways, I overheard him tell Draco he was queer and er... that he liked me and well... I don't know it threw me a bit because I like Blaise a lot but I never thought about him... well... er... you know. And I just am confused because I feel all warm and gross inside when I think of Draco... but Blaise also makes me feel like that sometimes... so what am I supposed to do?" Harry's voice sounded panicked, and he might have been a bit dramatic in this moment, but he felt it warranted a bit of drama.