Right in Front of Me

lie, lie, lie - year 5

!!!! harry's dealing with some heavy stuff. i don't know if it warrants a trigger warning but just be kind to yourself!

I know what you say about me,
I hope that it makes you happy.
You can't seem to get me off your mind.
I know you're lying through your teeth,
you told them the lies you told me.
I've had enough of it this time.
So you can lie, lie, lie.

It's been four months. Four months since he stood before Voldemort. Four months since he'd dueled Voldemort... and worst of all, four months since Cedric had been murdered. He knew what people were saying about him, he wasn't oblivious. As much as his friends tried to distract him from the newspaper stories and all the owls his mum and dad turned away... he knew. He saw the remnants of the ones that didn't get burned or that they forgot about. He was a pariah. People thought he made it all up... and worst of all, some people thought he had something to do with Cedric's death.

He was questioned by aurors in the weeks following the incident. Of course, his dad and Sirius were livid by the accusations, being aurors themselves. Harry understood though, he knew why he had to be questioned, a kid was dead. Harry was the only witness. No one else was there when Bellatrix killed him, just Harry. But even though Harry understood why the aurors had to question him, he didn't understand why nobody believed him. (Nobody besides his friends and family at least.)

Why would he make something like this up? Why would he lie about Voldemort returning, just to stir up some conflict? What, like his life didn't have enough of that on it's own? On the train ride back to Hogwarts he knew that his friends were constantly talking to try to distract him, but it wasn't working. Cedric was still dead, Voldemort was still alive and nobody believed him... so there was nothing that anyone could do. It should have been him that night. He should've been the one who died... he's who Voldemort wanted anyway... Cedric should still be here and Harry shouldn't...

"How's Monty doing H?" Neville asked, breaking Harry from his thoughts. Harry smiled, a small one.

"He's, well, he's kind of perfect to be honest." He said, his friends smiling at that.

"When I met him I just about died." Ginny said, gushing. "He is, without a doubt, the cutest baby ever." The group laughed lightly at this and they all continued on about Monty, how amazing he was. Harry loved Monty... but he couldn't find it in himself to join in the conversation.

"Hey you." He heard Draco say into his ear. "You Ok?" Harry turned in his seat, slightly, just so he was facing Draco a bit more. He gave a fake smile.

"Oh, why wouldn't I be Ok?" Draco frowned at that.

"I... I know, H. I just... I wish you would let me in your head. Talk to me, I wanna help." Harry sighed and grabbed Draco's hand.

"I know you want to help, and I appreciate it, so much. I just... I don't know what I need help with. Most of the time I don't think I want to talk about it... it's just... and I know that everyone is going to be talking about me when we get there. And... I'm used to that but I'm not used to everyone hating me." Draco squeezed one of Harry's hands and with his other hand cupped Harry's face, briefly.

"I'm here. And if you need to talk or to not talk, I'll still be here." Harry smiled fondly. It was moments like these when he felt like maybe Draco had the same feelings as Harry did. But then the voice in his head would say well, he knows that you like him so why wouldn't he just tell you then? And Harry is brought back to reality. He knows that he needs to try to move on... and with everything that's happened it shouldn't even be in his mind... but he just can't help it.