Right in Front of Me

defenceless - year 4

Never been so defenceless,
Never been so defenceless,
And you just keep on building up your fences,
But I've never been so defenceless.

When Harry thought about his fourth year at Hogwarts he wouldn't have guessed it would start with his dad giving him... 'the talk'. Well, maybe he could've guessed it, but he would have preferred if he never got that talk from his dad, ever.

"Stop covering your ears, Harry James! This is important stuff!" James said, stifling a laugh.

"Then why are you laughing? What's funny about it?" Harry said, cheeks bright red.

"Your face is funny, I'm sorry I love you but you're as bright as a tomato." Harry stood up to walk away but his dad grabbed his hand and pulled him back down. "No, no, Harry I'm sorry." He said, still laughing a bit. Then his face got serious. "I'm sorry. This is important, Ok? Now whoever you end up being with in that way, whether it's a boy or a girl, you need to make sure you're being supported and that you're supporting the other person. Does that make sense?"

Harry thought about it for a moment. Yes, it made sense. Isn't that what the whole relationship is about, not just that part.

"Yeah... yeah that makes sense." Harry said, smiling a bit. He was hoping the conversation was over, but his dad didn't seem to think it was the end.

"Is there any sort of person that you think you would want to do that with, sometime in the FAR off future?" Harry froze and he could feel his face starting to burn bright red again. "Ooooh, there is! Tell your dear old dad!" Harry put his face in his hands.

"Dad, stop it! It's not... stop... I don't want to talk about this with you." James got a soft look on his face and then ruffled Harry's hair.

"Hey, I'm sorry kiddo. I'm just joking around. You tell me whenever you want to, Ok?" Harry smiled and sighed.

"I just... I'm not ready to ... yet. Can we talk about anything else, please!?" James laughed.

"Let's talk about how my son is a seeker! Let's talk about how I'm going to be the most annoying quidditch fan there ever was!" Harry was laughing and suddenly all the worry about going back to school was in the back of his mind. It's not like he wasn't excited to see his friends again but... he just didn't know what to do about Draco and Blaise... he wished that he could stay home with his family where things made sense. But nothing lasts forever.

.

.

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He'd gotten into a nice routine in the first 2 weeks of classes. He and Ron would roll out of bed with only about 30 minutes of breakfast left, Hermione would scold them for being late and then the day would start with History of Magic on Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's and Defense Against The Dark Arts on Tuesday's and Thursday's. Harry definitely enjoyed his days that started with Defense a lot more than History of Magic because he got to see Remus first thing in the morning instead of Snape. He was back to being outwardly rude to Harry. Apparently the nice guy act was just so his parents would agree to whatever deal it was that Dumbledore and Snape were offering them. Regardless of whatever that deal was, Harry had a mission this year. No matter what life threw at him he was going to be positive. No matter if some Death Eaters come and try to kill him or he gets a bad grade in Potions or he loses a Quidditch match... he is going to be Mr. Positive.

Luckily when he's in Defense he gets to sit next to Blaise. They'd be hanging out more and more over the past two weeks and it made Harry very happy. Blaise had quickly become one of his closest friends... he couldn't help but think that maybe Blaise wanted to be more than friends.