Right in Front of Me

rewrite the stars

What if we rewrite the stars, say you were made to be mine?
Nothing could keep us apart, you'd be the one I was meant to find.

 

The end of term...

"What are you going to tell Nev and Draco?" Ron asked him as they were sitting on his bed. Hermione was on Ron's, writing something down.

"The truth?" Harry said shrugging. He wasn't going to lie to them, they were two of his best friends.

"But Harry... Dumbledore said-." Hermione started, but he cut her off.

"Hermione, no offense, but I don't give a fuck what Dumbledore said. Why does it matter? He's dead. Who cares what he said? He said I could tell you two about it, but he also said I would need people more than ever now."

"Harry you haven't talked about how you feel about all of that... well with Dumbledore being dead..."

"What's there to talk about? What do I feel? I feel like he left me with a million and one questions. I feel like he barley told me anything. I feel like he put way too much on the shoulder of a 16 year old!" Hermione flinched and Ron gave him a look. Harry immediately felt guilty.

"'Mione... I'm sorry... I'm really sorry for snapping at you, I just..." Harry looked down.

"No, it's Ok Harry. I... I'm sorry you're feeling that way. But... don't you want to try and... I dunno... do what Dumbledore thought was best?" She asked meekly.

"Hermione, I love you. But, I'm telling Draco and Neville." She raised her hands up in defense and Ron gave him another look. When Hermione went back to her dorm that night Harry asked the question he'd been dying to ask him.

"So you guys together now or what?" Harry asked Ron. He gave him a sideways glance and sighed.

"Kind of." He said, with no other explanation. Harry looked at him, willing him to continue. When he didn't Harry nudged him and Ron sighed.

"I dunno, Harry. Honestly. I've got no bloody clue. We snogged last week," Harry smirked at that, "and I dunno I like her a lot and I told her that after we snogged. But... she said she didn't know what the future held and she was scared that I'd regret starting something. She thinks that I just want something to hold onto during the-." Ron cut himself off. He was about to say during the war... that was a word they had tried their best not to say. He asked his parents if that's what they thought it was. They said it all felt very similar to before.

"The war?" Harry finished. Ron nodded. "Well, did you tell her that you've had this mad crush on her for years?" Harry said, Ron laughed.

"Yeah I tried. She still... I dunno. It's driving me mad, but honestly I'll take her any way I can get her, you know?" Harry's heart clenched at that. He knew... he knew that feeling. He couldn't have Draco the way he truly wanted him... so he was his friend still. After the kissed earlier in term... Harry knew that he wanted to be with Draco. But it felt selfish. It felt selfish because of Blaise... but also because of all the shit that Harry's going to have to do soon. He couldn't do that to Draco.

"Why don't you tell Draco then? Hm? If we're playing that game? I know you're in love with him." Harry flinched at that but then just sunk down onto his bed.

"I can't." Harry said simply. "I... He deserves someone who can give him... more than I can." Ron collapsed onto the bed next to him and shoved him.

"Bollocks." Ron said, a hint of anger in his voice. "That's total bollocks Harry. You've got this stupid self-hatred thing and 'Mione and I tried to let you get over it in your own way, but I'm sick of it. You're an amazing guy and you love Draco... he loves you... it can be that easy sometimes."

"Can it though?" Harry said, feeling sorry for himself. "I don't have the best track record." Ron sighed and put his hand on Harry's shoulder.

"So you just want to be miserable for the rest of your life?"

"Until Voldemort's dead I'll be miserable."

"What an uplifting thing to think about."

"Ron... I don't want you guys coming with me." Harry said suddenly. Ron tilted his head and raised his eyebrow.

"That sucks." He said simply.

"Well, I'm glad you understand then-."

"No. That sucks that you don't want us to but we're coming."

"Ron-."

"No Harry. Don't even try. We're coming. You think we would let you do this on your own? And you know that once you tell Draco and Neville they'll want to come... which is why I don't think you should. I think you should tell them that you're going on this... quest... that Dumbledore told you about... but telling them the whole thing? They won't let you go without them." Ron said, looking away from Harry. He had a point. He knew there was no way the two of them would just leave Harry, Ron and Hermione to fend for themselves.

"I have to tell Draco... some kind of explanation. He... He at least deserves that." Harry said, his heart feeling even heavier than before.

"Maybe you should go talk to him... you might feel better." Harry doubted that, but agreed.

.

.

.

"Can you give me a non heroic reason that we can't be together?" Draco asked, grabbing Harry's shoulders. "Can you tell me that you don't love me, or that you don't want to be with me?"

"Draco... you know I can't tell you that." Harry said, feeling tears prick at his eyes. "I... you mean everything to me. But I'm about to go do something dangerous and I wouldn't be able to do it... with you there with me. It's selfish, I know. I'm being selfish. But I do... I do love you, I think it's been hard for me to accept that."

"Harry, please." Draco said, but he sounded like he was slowly losing the will to fight it anymore. "I... I want to be with you."

"I know. But... we can't. It's not our time. I wish it was..."

"It may never be a right time, H..."

"Can I kiss you? Just one more time? It's so selfish to even ask but-." Draco pulled Harry into him and kissed him so tenderly. Harry melted into him. He was crying, he could tell Draco was crying too. It all felt like it was too much.

Walking away from Draco was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do.

Little did he know that what was coming would be much harder.

A/N:
song at the beginning is 'rewrite the stars' from the greatest showman.