STELLJUN Stories

Midnight Talks

"Are you okay?" Pablo asked after awhile.

"Yes."

"Di ba sila maingay pag gabi?" Pablo was referring to Stell's roommates. "Are you sleeping okay?"

"Yes."

"Did you bring Tokki?"

"Yes."

"Tipid naman ng sagot. Galit ka pa rin?"

Stell kept mum.

"Stell--"

"What do you want Pau?"

"I'm just trying to talk to you."

Stell scoffed. "Bakit di siya kausapin mo, maybe she needs your comfort?"

"She's probably sleeping na."

"Ah kaya pala. Should I thank her tomorrow? Kasi may time ka na kausapin ako."

Pablo shook his head. "No. Sorry that didn't come out right. I can't-- she.."

"She needs you. I know. You've told me."

"Baby--"

"Stop calling me that."

"I'll make it up to you when we go back home. I promise."

"Whatever. I'm going to sleep na."

Pablo reached for Stell's hand. "Please stay a little longer."

"What for?"

"Let's talk."

Stell pulled his hand away. He's been holding in his anger and he couldn't contain it any longer. "Talk?! Three days na tayo dito Pau. Sa kanya lang attention mo and now you want to talk?" Tears were in his eyes; but he tried to look brave. "Ganyan ka naman eh, you ignore me then kung kelan mo feel mag-usap tsaka mo lang ako kakausapin." He paused as he felt tears running down his cheeks. Realizing that he's crying, he turned his back to Pau.

"Stell--"

But Stell wasn't finished. He wanted to let it all out. He couldn't control the quiver in his voice when he continued. "Dapat talaga di nalang ako sumama dito. Akala ko kasi kakayanin ko, kasi sabi mo we're not breaking up. Yun lang inaasahan ko. Pero first day palang Pau, gusto ko ng umuwi. Ang saya niyo eh, para kayong nasa honeymoon. Eto yung literal na sana sinaksak mo nalang ako, alam mo ba yun?!"

Pablo scooted closer and gently placed his hand on Stell's back. "I'm sorry Stell, I promise I'll fix this."

Stell dashed the tears from his eyes with his shirtsleeve. "I don't like this feeling Pau. Masakit. Galit ako. At ayokong dumating ang time that I will learn to hate you. I don't want to hate you. But if this continues, my feelings will eventually turn into hatred. Maybe we should just end this."

"No. Stell please." Pablo held Stell by the shoulders and turned him around to face him. He cupped Stell's face and wiped his tears with his thumbs. "I'm so sorry baby for making you cry. For hurting you."

"I don't need your sorry Pau." Stell's throat constricted as his eyes start to fill with tears again.
"It's you I need. Sinanay moko na andyan ka lagi. Tapos bigla kang lalayo?"

Pablo wrapped his arms around Stell, hugging him tight and kissing his forehead. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were hurting this much. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Stell fisted his hand and thump Pablo's chest, "Yoko nga ng sorry eh." His tears continued to flow and the sobs wracked his body. Pablo rubbed Stell's back, "Shhh. It's okay baby, I'm here now." He kissed Stell's forehead and whispered, "I won't leave, I promise."

They stayed like that for several minutes, with Stell's face nuzzled between Pablo's neck and shoulder while Pablo hugged him tight.

After awhile, Stell pulled back and wiped his face. He glanced at Pablo, "What? Stop staring. I'm a mess."

"I just miss looking at you. And you'll always be pogi in my eyes."

Stell rolled his eyes.

Pablo smiled, "You feel better now?"

"Not really. Well medyo di na mabigat sa dibdib. Sabi ni Jah, I should punch you, I'd feel much better."

Pablo nodded. "Feel ko nga galit siya akin. But if it will make you feel better, I'll take a punch." He added with a serious look.

"Sa totoo lang, gusto kitang saktan. But that won't happen, Pau."

"I'm sorry--" Pablo started.

"Stop saying sorry. Just do something."

"I wanna kiss you right now."

Stell smirked. "Subukan mo at talagang masasaktan ka."

Pablo smiled. "Okay, I'll explain. She's having some kind of depression and is very vulnerable. That's why I'm trying to cheer her up and watch over her constantly. That's all there is to it, Stell. I swear."

"You expect me to believe that?" Stell asked with raised eyebrows.

"It's the truth. Her parents entrusted her to me and somehow I ended up giving them my word that she'll be okay and that I'd look after her which I shouldn't have agreed to."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Cos it's not my story to tell and should be kept private."

"Even from me?"

"I know baby. I'm sorry. I'll her tell about us tomorrow and you can talk to her if you want."

"No need."

"But you believe me, right?"

"I do. But..."

"Stell, we'll go home in two days. Please, this will be over soon. We can go back to how we were."

"How sure are you? Baka isang lang tawag lang niya pupunta ka agad. I'm not hating on her. What I'm trying to point out is that the problem is not just her, but mostly you. It seems to me you're not ready to let her go. Do you still love her?"

"W-what? No! It's you I love." Pablo grabbed Stell's hand. "Stell, I love you. You know that. Deep in your heart, you feel that. I know you do. Please baby, let's not break up okay?"

"I don't want us to breakup either Pau. But, it feels like I'm sharing you, more like I'm begging for your attention. Mag aantay na lang ba ako sa extra time mo?"

"From now on I'll tell you everything when it comes to her. I'll ask for your permission first before I talk to her or whatnot. You will always come first. I promise." Pablo cupped Stell's face, "Baby please. I'm begging you. Kung gusto mo uwi na tayo bukas."

Stell smiled. "Palibhasa alam na alam mo kung pano ako makuha."

Pablo let out a sigh of relief, "Pinakaba moko dun ah. Thank you baby."

Just one more question, "Are you really over her?"

"Yes. I'm just being a good friend to her now. I swear."

"Mm okay. Pero tampo pa rin ako sa'yo." Stell pouted.

Pablo smiled. "I know. Babawi ako pag-uwi natin. Ligawan pa kita kung gusto mo."

"Sure ka sa ligaw na yan?"

"Yes. I'll do anything you want."

Stell smiled. "We'll see. But for now, I want to sleep na." He stood up and dusted the sand off his shorts.

Pablo did the same. "Wait, wala bang good night kiss?"

"Hmm, manligaw ka muna." Stell smiled and started walking away.

Pablo shook his head lightly as he walked quickly to catch up with Stell.