All Alone

Chapter Fourteen

WARNING: TRIGGER WARNING! ITS BAD TOO! BE WARNED!
Also if you want to get the mood of the chapter listen to Fix You by Coldplay and All of Me by John Legend. Fix You is at the top but the original wouldn't play so it's a cover.

Brittany felt so shocked that she just froze. Her brain short-circuited in situations like this and she had no idea what to do.

Then she knew. This was wrong. Santana was drunk and she couldn't take advantage of her.

The blonde pushed her off.

This only made Santana cry harder. "What do you not want me? Am I not sexy enough for you?! Am I really that ugly!?"

Brittany's eyes widened. "What?! No!" Then she did what Santana had done for her at the last party and dragged her to the bathroom, shutting the door.

The Latina immediately sunk to the ground and buried her face in her hands.

The cheerio became more and more concerned. This didn't seem like it was just drinking. "Santana..." She whispered. "What's wrong?"

A loud sob escaped the brunette. "I'm o-okay." She cried.

Brittany shook her head. "No you're not. You're not okay and you haven't been since I first met you and probably even before that."

Suddenly Santana seemed to snap. She grabbed something shiny from her pocket, yanked up her dress and cut deep into the flesh of her thigh all before Brittany could process it.

The blonde gasped. "Santana!"

The Latina ignored her and cut again, even deeper.

Brittany grabbed her hands. "Santana stop!"

"No! Brittany let go!" Santana cried, fighting against the blonde's tight grip.

Brittany was strong, and managed to get the razor away from the girl.

Santana collapsed in her lap and sobbed harder than ever. "I'm sorry Brittany!" She said. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry." She repeated it over, and over again.

The cheerio was horrified. She whispered, "Santana how long have you been doing this for?"

The crying girl didn't answer. Instead she said sat up and looked at Brittany nervously. Then she reached down and pulled her dress up further.

The blonde gasped. There, on Santana's very upper thighs, lay hundreds of cuts and scars. Some were more recent than others. Some had clearly been healed and reopened many, many times. They criss-crossed her body, long and thick or thin and short. Brittany felt tears form in her eyes.

Santana looked down at her thighs, still sobbing, only quieter.

Brittany looked up at her, her eyes shining with tears. "Why?"

It seemed like a simple enough question, but it made Santana release a whole new batch of tears. "I-I'm so-o sorry Brittany-y."

"Why?"

"For dragging you into my me-ess."

She shook her head. "No. I let myself in. Why Santana?"

The Latina squeezed her eyes shut and screamed. "Him."

"Who?" Brittany asked softly. "Your dad?"

Santana nodded. "He let it happen. It was his fault! He let him do it just for that! It was more important than-" she suddenly sobbed loudly. "Me."

"Santana, you're not making any sense." Brittany said, stroking the brunette's hair.

She suddenly looked Brittany in the eye and the blonde was not prepared for the amount of pain in those mocha eyes that she adored.

"He let it happen Brittany. I still remember..." She let out a little whimper. "I still remember it. I was just a-a kid." She began to cry once more, shaking her head. "I was just a kid."

Brittany had a feeling she knew what Santana was implying. She said as softly as she could. "Santana were you raped?"

Santana turned her face to the blonde and tears welled in her eyes. She simply nodded and then and put her head down in her knees, sobbing.

The taller girl began to cry too. So hard she couldn't see. She hugged Santana. "Oh Santana. Oh God. I'm so, so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

The Latina brought her face up again, now covered in smudged mascara and tears. "He let him have me for drugs."

Brittany froze. Was Santana implying that her father let someone rape her in exchange for them giving him drugs? "Y-your dad let someone do that to you?" She asked carefully.

Santana's face contorted and her breathing was shallow. Brittany knew she was right, but also that she had pushed it to for. Like always.

Suddenly someone burst into the bathroom.

Shit! I thought I locked the door!

The intruder was Quinn. She froze when she saw the scene.

Santana was now gasping for breath.

"What'd she overdose on drugs?" Quinn asked smugly.

"QUINN GET THE FUCK OUT!" Brittany snapped uncharacteristically.

Quinn's eyes widened. "Okay Jesus." She backed out, closing the door.

Brittany turned back to Santana and rubbed her back. "Shh. Calm down honey. It'll be okay. It's okay. I'm here."

The Latina finally breathed normally again. She looked at Brittany, still crying a bit. "That time you kissed me didn't mean nothing. It meant a lot."

Brittany furrowed her brow, confused at why Santana was bringing this up now.

Santana began to sob. "I love you Brittany. But I can't-I can't-I can't-"

The cheerio could see her getting panicked again and rubbed her back soothingly.

Santana turned to Brittany, clearly ready to finally tell the truth. "It hurts too much to think about-about trusting someone again."

AN: Some heavy stuff. And it'll get heavier. I love you all and if you ever experience rape or sexual assault tell someone you trust immediately. Stay safe.😘

-G. Schreiber