All Alone

Chapter Twenty Three

BIG TRIGGER WARNING
Also I apologize for the end of the video at the top. I guess that's just how the YouTuber signs off.

"I won't do it again." Santana promised. "I'm just not ready to go back to school. But you should."

Brittany sighed, finally relenting. "Alright. But if you start to feel bad again, promise you'll call me."

The Latina nodded tersely. "I promise."

So Brittany went to school, but the whole day she felt like she was making a mistake. At lunch she found Quinn and told her the dilemma.

"Go check on her, Britt." Her best friend advised. "If you have a bad feeling about this then you better trust your instincts."

Brittany nodded. "If I'm not back, cover for me with Mr. Schue, okay?"

"Sure."

-

"Santana?"

Nothing.

This felt all too familiar and Brittany's feet pounded against the floor as she dashed to Santana's room. The door was open and the Latina was no where in sight.

Brittany ran across the hall and opened the bathroom door. She gasped at the sight.

The bathtub was full and the water was a light pinkish-red. There were a couple of dark red splatters on the bathmat as well. But Santana wasn't there.

"Santana!" Brittany shrieked, checking every room. "Santana!"

She pulled out her phone and called the Latina, only getting her voicemail.

The cheerio raced outside and into the little tiny woods next to Santana's house. "Santana!"

She headed for the bridge that overlooked the train tracks. It was her only hope.

As she neared them she saw a wavering figure, sitting on the bridge's edge with there feet dangling over. Brittany ran over and it was Santana.

But it also wasn't.

Her face was ashen and she wore only a long white t-shirt and some blue boy shorts and worst of all, the t-shirt was stained with blood. There was so much blood Brittany wanted to faint. It was the most amount of blood she thought she'd ever seen in one place.

The Latina turned to look at Brittany and her face remained blank. She turned back.

"Santana get down from there! I'm gonna call the an ambulance and then-"

"Don't." Her voice was raspy.

"No! Santana you need-"

"Did you know that I've been coming here and sitting here every day since I moved here?"

"What? Santana you need-"

"And I always thought about jumping. I always almost did but I didn't have the guts. Now I don't care."

Brittany raced up and tried to get Santana down. "Santana what did you do to yourself? You're bleeding so much!"

"A steak knife to the gut doesn't compare to the pain in my mind." Santana gave a sarcastic little smile. "I like watching myself bleed. And I like hurting myself. It's something I can control. I get to decide it."

The blonde was sobbing. She pulled out her phone. "Santana I'm sorry but you need help. You need to be in the hospital!"

The shorter girl turned away. "You think I'm crazy too."

"No. But I have to do this." Brittany dialed an ambulance and then scooped Santana up and say on the ground, rocking her back and forth.

The Latina's face stayed blank and her body stayed limp.

"What happened today Santana?" Brittany sobbed. "Why'd you hurt yourself today? Why?"

"I found a letter from him. It came today."

"What?"

"He's getting out on parole."

"Wait... What?"

"I don't wanna be here when he gets out."

-

"How bad is it? Is she gonna die? Oh please tell me she's gonna be okay!" The blonde sobbed.

Dr. Denman sighed. "Physically, fortunately she'll be fine. She got lucky and didn't hit anything that we can't repair when she... When she hurt herself."

Brittany sighed in relief.

"But, mentally... Brittany I'm going to admit her to a mental hospital. River Valley Mental Hospital."

The cheerio froze. "She's not crazy."

"No she's not. But she needs help Brittany. She has a serious problem."

Brittany teared up again, but nodded. "I know. But... Will I be allowed to visit her?"

Dr. Denman nodded. "Of course. And she'll get the card she needs there. It'll be alright for both of you. Now you can go see her if you want."

Brittany went into Santana's hospital room and sat down.

The Latina looked at her. "I'm sorry, Brittany. I wasn't myself but I'm... Im fine now."

Brittany shook her head, tears in her eyes. "No. You're not okay."

Santana collapsed into her arms. "No. I'm really not. I'm not okay. Please help me."

"I will."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

AN: Probably the saddest and most graphic chapter yet. I'm sorry guys, but look at it this way! This is rock bottom. So it can only get better from here on out! Love you all!

- G. Schreiber