Sometimes you feel like everyone is cornering you, even with the stars you are left with nothing, no support or space. You feel trapped, suffocated under the pressure and tension forced upon you. The pain of being choked consumes you like quicksand, inch by inch, dragging you to it, first by leg till you disappear unto them. Completely. You can't cry, but tears threaten to fall. Tears stinging your eyes fear stinging your heart. All you wish at that moment is to disappear into nothing but air. Sometimes freedom and time are all you have and you don't. We all are bound by things, time, responsibilities, the weight of our decisions, our karma. The thing about deciding for yourself is you have to carry that weight on your own. If it's light then you are lucky but if it's heavy you can't take it but you also couldn't ask someone for help because it's yours.
It's not regretting just an apology to myself for cracking under the pressure and losing track and myself in the process and holding that inside for too long. But I knew I had it coming.
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Feeling down and trapped lately... Had to vent it out.
