If You See Kay (Danny O'Donoghue)

Chapter 10: If You See Kay part 1

Danny

After the food poison Kay was there for me. But it was different. She wasn't used to all the publicity she got. It was out now, the fact that she is my girlfriend. I'm not sure if she wants to be mine anymore. She has been a bit distance after the whole incident. We haven't kissed or touched each other, let alone slept together (my body has needs too!). I miss her, I miss the Kay I knew. This is a Kay that I haven't seen before.

'Kay, baby... what's the matter, please talk to me', I said one day as we sat down and watched tv. The live shows. She was trough of course. 'It's nothing, I'm sorry... I think I am going to sleep early, I see you tomorrow?', Kay asked. I nodded. When she stood by the door I reached out for her. I didn't want to let go of her. She had to tell me what was going on in her head. 'Please Kay, don't walk away like this, I love you, but we haven't talked or anything since... well since we came out', I said. 'Danny it's nothing really okay, I just need a little time, it's not nothing you know really Dan, stop worry about me okay', Kay said as she walked out the door angry.

We went to the live shows to prepare ourselves for a long day. Camera's would be on us a lot. It bothered Kay more then usual. She usually couldn't care less. Now she was irritated by the slightest thing that the camera man didn't do right. Couldn't really blame him for being confused.

'Kay... please tell me what is...', I started. She shook her head and suddenly ran over to the nearest bathroom and puked her guts out. 'Oh Kay, not food poison right?', I asked. 'No, just my stomach is upset that's all', Kay mumbled and she went back to work. 'Kay... come on, this isn't you, talk to me', I said. 'Daniel it's fine, just let today be over with okay', Kay said.

Daniel, she had never called me Daniel. Kay left and so were the others. I was alone in the studio when Tom came in. 'What was up with Kay today?', Tom asked. 'I have no idea Tom, I'm just as clueless as you are', I said. 'Woman, I shall never understand them but that is maybe for a reason', Tom said. 'What's the matter Danny, trouble in paradise, Kay seemed a little off today', Jessie said. 'Don't start, she is grumpy all week, I don't know what is going on, she just puked her guts out in the toilet, she said her stomach hurts', I said. 'Boys can be so damn stupid, have you asked her if she had 'that time of the month', Jessie said. 'Wait, what?', I asked surprised. 'See, clueless, boys can be so stupid and then they wonder why we think they are assholes', Jessie said. 'I'm not an asshole', Will said. 'Yes you are, sometimes', Tom said. 'Jeez, thanks a lot Tom', Will said but he laughed. 'Search for a pregnancy test Danny, there I just spelled it out for ya, the rest is up to you', Jessie said shaking her head. 'Pregnant, but...', I started. 'Dude, they only had sex once', Will said. 'Again, asshole', Jessie said. 'What, it is the truth', Will said. 'One time can do the trick you know', Jessie said. 'I need to get out of here, I need to see her', I said. 'Good luck man', Tom said. 'Let me know if I should bring the blue or pink balloons', Will said. 'Asshole', Jessie, Tom and I said together.

Kay was at her friends Leilah's house. They lived together there as long as she was in the UK. Her mother has gone back to Dublin, decided that she was only going to fly over when she had a live show instead of being there with the studio sessions. Kay was fine with it. She understood that her mum couldn't stay away from her father so long. She was happy that she got to see her parents at the live shows. Now it was just her and Leilah in the flat. Andy was kicked out a long while ago. Instead of Kay opening up the door. I found myself standing in front of Leilah. 'Danny, good to see you', she said. 'Good to see you, how have you been, you know, ever since you and Andy broke up', I asked. 'Okay, Glen is been helping a lot, I am afraid I have to say that Kay doesn't want to see you', Leilah said. 'What, why not, can she at least give me something to... wait a minute is Glen here?', I asked surprised as I saw Glen fetching some tea.

'Hey Danny, I thought I heard your voice', Glen said waving friendly as ever. 'I'm sorry, she really doesn't want to see you Danny, please don't come barging in the house like this, you know I love you as my dearest friend, but I love Kay more and you know it, so don't make me do things I regret Danny', Leilah said. 'Kay... please come on, you owe me an explanation for this stupid action, come on Kay let me in please, explain it to me, Kay!', I yelled. Glen came walking towards me. 'What's the matter with her?', I asked worried. 'Girls stuff, I don't get it either, Leilah wants me there for a reason, I don't get why she doesn't want you there Danny, I really don't, I think she is crying now', Glen said.

'What... no I have to see her Glen, please', I begged. 'Just leave her be, she will be in the studio session tomorrow okay, talk to her then', Glen said. 'Come on, you are taking a side', Danny said. 'No I'm not and you know it, Dan come on, leave the girl alone, give her some air, might do you both some good', Glen said.

The door closed. I couldn't believe it. What the hell just happened. She might has well slapped me in the face doing that herself. I went to the window were I saw her sitting on the couch hanging crying in the arms of Leilah. Glen was making tea. It should be me holding her and dry her tears. It should be me going trough her hair stroking her body and making her laugh again. I tried to focus on what they said, but I couldn't hear. I knocked on the window.

'Kay, please I need to see you', I begged. She turned around, tears streaming down her face. 'Please', I said. She shook her head and ordered me to go away. I didn't though. I was going to sit here all night long, in the cold, I wanted to know what the hell was going on. What did I do wrong. For the first time, I had no clue. At my last girlfriends, I knew what I had done wrong, I knew that I was an asshole, but this time. With Kay, I had no idea what I had done to hurt her like this. In my head I could feel a song coming up. I grabbed my notebook and a pen, I sat down on the stairs in front of her house and started writing.