If You See Kay (Danny O'Donoghue)

Chapter 17: Breakeven part 2

Kay

Winning The Voice was amazing. I thought I would hate it because of the way I felt. But I loved it. The celebration was short but powerful. When Danny and I went to his home there was an awful silence. I saw Danny opening his mouth sometimes like he wanted to say something, but then he closed it again and looked out of the window. I could feel his heart ache and it hurt me to see him like this.

When we arrived at his house he smiled at me. I ran my hands trough his hair. He smiled. 'I love you', I said. 'I love you too', Danny responded and he kissed me. Somehow it felt like it could be the last kiss we would share.

I layed in bed next to him. Yes. We made love. We both felt this was the last time. That is what hurts me the most. I didn't knew who would break up with who. I just looked at him and he looked at me. Neither one of us dared to break this silence. It was too peaceful, to hard because we knew what was coming.

Danny kissed my cheek and went to sleep. I heard his soft breathing slowly. I would miss this. Just laying here in the morning. I need to leave him. I couldn't be with him anymore. Not now. Not at this painful time. It did neither one of us any good. Danny would go on the road soon with the lads so he has plenty to think about. I would sure be busy with writing songs and do a few gigs. I woke him up.

'Kay, what's the matter?', he asked sleepy. He was surprised to see me all dressed with my bags over my shoulder. 'Danny... we both know that we can't do this anymore', I said. 'Wait... you are leaving me. Please Kay don't go', Danny begged as tears started to fall down. Oh God, I couldn't stand Danny crying. Soon I started crying too. 'Danny, I love you, I will always love you, this loss we have is something we need to sort out on our own, you and I both know it, we felt it last night, I'm going back to Dublin, I need some time alone, you are going on tour and soon you will forget about me, you have a thousand fan girls hanging on your feet, you will find someone else Danny', I said. 'But I don't want anybody else then you, I love you Kay, I love you so much I...', Danny said and he stood up but something fell out of the night cabin. It was a ring. A beautiful engagement ring.

'Danny', I gasped. 'I was going to do it last night, on a very romantic way you know, but then I saw you crying and I realized that the hurt was just too much', Danny said. 'Oh Danny, if we didn't lost what we have lost, I would have said 'yes' a thousand times, but it is too hard for me, especially now I think about how things could have been if that damn stage didn't collapsed', I said.

'Please don't go, we can work things out, I am sure of it', Danny said. 'Dan, I need to work things out on my own, so do you, you need to find yourself a distraction, I don't mean girls or anything, but like writing songs and going on tour. Sing like you've always done, but without me', I said. It hurt so bad that my heart felt like it would fall in thousand pieces. I finally knew what the song 'Breakeven' meant. 'Danny, I'm so sorry', I whispered. 'Don't go... you are all I have left', Danny said and his eyes were red from crying. 'I'm sorry', I said and tears fell down as I kissed him one last time. 'I will always love you, maybe we see each other again', I said.

Once I was outside the door in the dark. I cried. Leaving Danny was the hardest thing I had to do in my life. This was the worst day. I called Leilah.

'Wazzup, why the fuck are you calling this late, thought you were celebrating with Danny?', Leilah said. 'It's over... oh Leilah I... can I?', I started and I cried again. 'Oh sweetie, come to my house, we see what we are going to do the next morning okay', Leilah said. 'Thank you', I said.

Leilah and I spend the night on the couch painfully watching The Voice final.

Danny

I couldn't believe I let her walk out that door. I promised myself I wouldn't let her go. Now I did. How can I be so damn stupid. I do really stupid things when it comes to love. On the other hand, I knew that she was right. We weren't okay anymore, we are never going to be the same again, unless we give it time. That didn't mean that this break-up didn't hurt. I felt a whole in my heart I haven't felt in a long time. She saw the ring. Oh God, she saw the ring. That wasn't suppose to happen. Now she is even more hurt and I am even more hurt as well. This was the worst break-up I had in my entire live.

I called Mark and Glen and they came over as soon as they could. 'Mate, how are you holding up', Mark said looking at me. I knew he felt sorry for me. 'I'm not, Kay was everything to me, now she left', I said sobbing in my hands. 'Danny, it isn't the end of the world, maybe you guys find your way back to each other, give it time', Glen said. 'I don't need anything that is a 'maybe', I said. 'I know that is not what you want to hear right now, Kay was indeed your true love, we both saw that, now is just not the time mate, not after what happened', Mark said.

'Are you saying that it's my fault what happened', I said. I knew that was unfair before I even said it. 'No mate, did you hear us say that it is all your fault, no, let's go to the bar and get drunk okay, it will help you forget for a moment', Mark said. 'No... I didn't need to get drunk with her, I'm not going to get drunk without her', I said. 'Dan... mate come on, it will do you good', Mark said forcing me to get up.

So it was the bar after all.

Only one chapter left from this book. No worries. There is already a sequel in my head. If you have any ideas for a title, I might use it. 'Might'. Hope you liked this story so far. I know the end is sad between Danny and Kay. Who knows what will happen next right.