the cabin || l.t✔

seven

April Rose
Tears fill my eyes as he spoons me from behind, naked and asleep. He wraps an arm around my waist, the other by his side. I swallow and close my eyes feeling a sting before I screw them shut and letting the tears roll down my face and drop onto the pillow.

Why did I do that?

I wipe my tears and sigh. Why I did that, I have no idea. I wasn't listening to myself, I was listening to my needs. It was good, he was good, my best to be honest but I regret it.

If Zayn ever found out what we just did, then I am toast and I will never forgive myself. I was slightly regretting it all but, why did I love it?

He wouldn't let me do anything, he had all the control. I haven't had sex in a long time and I hate to say Louis was the best, but he was. He was gentle at first and then he sped up and got rough, I loved it.

I came so hard that I couldn't breathe. It was embarrassing of how much I came on him. He pinned my hands and put my legs over his shoulder so he got me in an angle I had never been and I was struggling.

It was good, I certainly enjoyed it. But what made me so sad about having sex with Louis was Zayn. Like I said, he was the one who protected me from anything Louis and his friends related and I just threw that away because I was horny.

I'm selfish.

I regret it, because if Zayn went and looked through the window and saw me and Louis at it, I would cry so hard. I would be in more heartbreak then someone actually going through a heartbreak.

Fuck a breakup, ever lost a best friend?

I have, Louis. It was so hard to see him spread a rumour about me.

I look at the condom on the dresser that was tied up and used. It brought back memories. Good and bad ones. I don't know if Louis asked to go to bed or the bathroom but whatever it was, I don't think he was meant to be in here.

He inhaled and moved around a bit which made me close my eyes, taking a silent deep breath. He pulls the sheet back up his hips, rubbing mine and then goes silent. I bite my lip and frown, my heart beating rapidly. I keep my eyes closed, sighing.

I let more tears slide down my face, some dripping off the bridge of my nose. I sigh and swallow. I so want to push him off me right now. His touch now doesn't feel like it should. I don't know what he's thinking about but I'm so angry at myself.

I close my eyes and let more tears slides down my cheeks again. He shuffles his hips closer to mine, kissing the back of my head.

Fuck me, he's awake.

"April?" he whispers but I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. He sighs and removes his hand from me. He runs his hands down his face with a sigh. "Fuck me," he whispers.

**

My eyes peel open, seeing Louis' empty bed in front of me. I blink my eyes to adjust them before rubbing them with the sides of my fists. I yawn and stretch, realising a arm around my waist. I look behind me to see Louis' eyes shut, his lips and mouth closed.

"Oh my god," I gasp, jumping up and using the sheets to cover me and him.

"Dude," he whines, rubbing his eyes.

"What the fuck, why are you naked? Why am I naked?" I panic, looking around. I see a condom on the dresser which makes me breathe out in relief knowing he used one, but I tune back in and realise.

"Think about it," his sits up, covering himself.

"Put that in the bin," I point.

"That's your job," he grins but I scrunch my nose up.