Dance with me

Chapter Four - Making it to the top

Chapter 4

I should totally win the Oscar for Best Actress. All afternoon, after the situation with Noah, I've been pretending I was fine and normal when, in fact I was freaking out in the inside.

I had two hours of dance practice which helped me to get better. Dance is the only thing that put my mind at ease. If I'm worried or angry or sad, all I have to do is turn the music on and dance. And just like magic I start feelling better. But today was kind of different. The dance did help me feel better but I still couldn't stop thinking about Noah's appearance and, mostly about my dad.

Luckily tonight as the first day of the semester, Mila would be out to some 'welcome back' party and I would have the room to myself.

"Are you sure you're not coming? It's going to be epic!" Mila said finishing her make-up. We've been friends since the first day at school. she was my roommate and she went to every party related to the school. I usually go with her but tonight all I need is my bed and alone time.

"I promise I'll go to the next one, okay?" I said with a apologetic smile. "It's not like this will be the only 'welcome back' party..." She pointed me with the eyeliner and made her 'listen-carefully-face'

"Actually, tomorrow there's another one and you WILL go even if I have to drag you!" Mila said and I agreed. I really had no option. My friend could be very persuasive and I learned in the best way not to go against her.

Last year she was trying to get a paper in the annual musical but some bitch made a prank and gave her the wrong script. Conclusion: this bitch had her hair dyed in purple for almost a month. And she got the paper anyways.

After Mila left the dorm I changed into my pajamas and went to bed.

I didn't sleep, thinking about my father's last days. Before everything happened, he was so excited about my dance and achievements and he kept saying he would be the happieat man on Earth when I joined the company. He was planning on buying an apartment for me to live after finishing school and he would also move closer so we could see each other more often. I remember one day when all my friends were having a barbecue and I was dancing in the backyard... this girl started laughing at me and told me I was ridiculous. I was only 10 and very naive so I started crying. Then my dad came to me and said 'if you saw the light in your eyes when you're dancing you would uderstand just how beautiful you are'.

He was always there for us. Because my mom left us to marry some guy across the ocean he felt the need to be closer to me and somehow I felt like I really didn't need mom just for having him.

I guess all I have now is memories then.

A single tear ran down my face. Why did Noah have to remind me of dad? I could be at some party having fun if he didn't showed up to remind me my father died.

But then, the look on his face when he said he missed him too... I only saw that look when his dog died when we were 9 and I almost freaked out because I didn't know what to say. So I just gave him a hug. But now I don't think a hug would help him. Maybe someone else's hug, but not mine.

Why did he have to leave and send me that letter? I can understand his reasons to drop everything to pursue his dream but I will never forgive him for leaving me behind. He could still be my friend from distance. Why build a barrier between our friendship?

Trying to understand once more, I got the box under my bed and opened it. There were some pictures from when I was younger. And in the bottom stood the letter.

I've read it a million times and I never got it.

'Ella,

It's really hard for me to say that. It's been over a month since I left town to record my album and I know we agreed to remain in touch but this is not going to work.

I've been so busy with the recording and all the agencing and stuff that I have no more time to write you letters or send you e-mails.

We both knew this would happen and I'm only being the one who say it first. I must focus on my job now. It's really hard to be accepted in the music world and I must do my very best to succeed, I can't let anyone ruin that for me.

So, it would be better for both of us to stop acting like we will be friends forever.

Sincerely,

Noah Peter.'

Reading it again didn't make it better. Of course it didn't make it worse either because I don't think it is possible to get worse than that.

In fact, it could. I think the worse was that he came here and talked to me and touched me like nothing happened, like we WERE still friends. That's what was making me crazy. When he came to talk to me I didn't think straigh and let him get closer but now that I'm thinking clear, he really had no rights to do that. And still, it didn't feel wrong

After the shock of being heartbroken by my best friend, I started to acompany his carreer and he really got focused and succeeded. His songs took a different patch and he started to make soft ones.

I could say today I considered him an amazing singer and I think he deserved everything he got in his life. I'm really happy for him and even if I pretend to, I'm not mad at him. Maybe at first I was, but not anymore. I'm more disappointed than anything else. He hurt me even after saying he would never do it.

I just hope he got everything that he wanted. I know I will, once I join the company.

I put all the memories back in the box and back to under the bed. The drama night was over and tomorrow would be a new day with no sad memories and dance all over it.