Dance with me

Chapter Twenty Seven - All over again

I'm having a very hard time writing the end of this story... I think I don't want to let it got yet. Or ever. 

Still, I'm getting there and the end is close!

[not edited]

[ANNTONELLA'S POV]

Chpater 27

I couldn't believe I was dumb enough to put myself at risk again. I should never let my guard down. I should neve let Noah get into me again. I was so sure he regretted what he's done to me and that he changed, but I couldn't be more wrong.

After he left my room, I started crying, even more than before. Even more than when I first read the letter. All the pain came back and I knew he was leaving again.

He wouldn't just come back and be what he once was again. I was naive to think that this was even possible. 

But what hurt most was that he fooled me. He truly made me believe he was there for me. And that he wouldn't levae again. Bullshit!

I was laid on my bed, hugging my pillow and trying to reason what Noah said before parting away. I remembered him saying something like "I didn't write this letter" but it didn't make any sense to me and I figured this was only my mind playint tricks with me. It was his handwriting. Of course it was a little harsher than the others but only because it was meant to be.

I guess I just stood there on my bed for the entire evening. I wasn't able to fall asleep but, after sometime I finally gave up on crying. Probably because I didn't have any tear left on my body. 

When Noah first told me I should stop talking to him, I felt like crap. I guess I just shut myself for an entire year. But now I felt worse.

I felt betrayed. 

I think people just like to leave me. Maybe it's something wrong with me. First, my own mother decides to cross the ocean to marry another guy and leave her family, then Noah leaves. Then my father dies and Noah comes back just to leave me again.

Still, I knew I couldn't go through all the pain again. I knew I had to be stronger than when I was 16. 

I have the Company to impress, after all. I still have my career and my dance to live up.

It was almost morning when I heard Mila entering the room cautiously not to wake me. I pretended I was asleep so I wouldn't have to explain to her my dumbness and soon she was on her bed sleeping deeply.

I decided it was better to get up and go to the auditorium to rehearse.

It was the only place where I could be myself now. It wasn't even 6 in the morning of a Saturday so no one would be there and no one would see me there either. It would only be myself and the music.

When I turned the music on, and the the choreography started playing on my head, I felt my heart racing and almost fell to the ground.

I was definetely screwed.

How haven't I thought about that? Not only was Noah my ex-friend-ex-boyfriend he was also my partner in the Project and now that he is gone (again) I was alone.

And I would never be able to perform without him. I have changed everything in the choreography and there was no move that I could possibly do without a partner.

I couldn't ask Gabriel to dance with me again because now he was already busy with the Company and I would have less than a week to rehearse with him. It would never come out right.