Pounds ch.29

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- a few weeks later -
*Tw mention of eating disorder *
Carlos finally got on his feet with the help of tk especially he got his cast of and got his pt done and he was finally feeling like himself he was happy..tk wasn't so much he wasn't eating he wasn't sleeping

Carlos practically ran into the hospital greeted by Nancy "hey ." Carlos said wrapping his arms around Nancy who was shaking Carlos rubbed her back " go home .. get some sleep warm up ." Carlos said "I can't tk -." She quivered "I'll be here with him but I'm sure -." Carlos said as Nancy cut him off " no Carlos tk hasn't been eating ! with him falling through the ice and being severely hypothetic to the final stage where he stripped of his clothes to lay and the snows and fainted in me and Tommy's arms it's not helping his situation... cap said we need to get Owen ..." she said as Carlos's eyes filled with tears " he's 137 pounds Carlos that's .." " 20 pounds shit .." Carlos said as tears flooded his face " we called Owen just go see tk .." Nancy said

Carlos got a visitors pass and walked in seeing tk hooked up to a ventilator Carlos broke down as soon as he shut the door he sat behind the door crying this was different from any other time tk got injured because this this was his fault sure tk falling through the ice wasn't his fault but tk being on the verge of anorexia was his fault he should have noticed it better tk wasn't sleeping he was reluctant to even sleep and then tk wasn't eating at home and on shift and was always giving some excuse to why he couldn't eat

" I'm not hungry"
"I ate at the station ."
"I'm not really feeling pasta tonight babe sorry ."

All were signs " tk was depressed tk never had a issue with his body he worked out cause it was fun it was something he took joy in it and got him in shape not because he thought he needed to lose weight and tk not wanting to sleep coming from the same guy who would sleep all day if you let him all were warning signs and Carlos ignored that he noticed he just wanted to believe that Tk's was fine like he said he was but when was tk ever really fine Carlos hadn't checked up on tk like he used to they haven't had any of there deep talks to check up in each other in a month and a half and that was Carlos's fault ..

And now seeing tk hooked up to a ventilator that that's what broke Carlos the most cause he could have prevented tk from being on his death bed and now he didn't know if tk would ever get off of it and they have been married for only 6 months and Carlos was on the verge of losing tk all because he didn't do his job and check up on tk especially when tk was doing everything from him he'll even helping him shower the two took showers together sometimes as a way to show their love for the other sometimes to relax the other but when it came to Carlos getting injured tk was helping him like a nurse which Carlos hated because he was so helpless when all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around tk and kiss him under the shower head

And yet here tk laid in a hospital bed fighting for him life and there wasn't a damn thing Carlos could do to help him on the outside tk seemed fine he would always be helping people but tk was good at hiding he got good at it when he was with Alex faking to be fine around others while he suffered the abuse the hitting the kicking the digging when people asked. Him what he got that bruise from which wasn't often cause he could usually hide the bruises with his uniform or makeup but the ones he couldn't he would just say from work or housework or he fell depending on the location he never let the mask go why would he need to if your not happy why not hide it why let the pain deep through cause then it would only hurt more to carried that skill with him he was good at bottling his emotions up well that was until he finally broke tk was good a hiding maybe a little to good ..

Carlos got off the floor heading over to tk grabbing his hand "I love you so much.." Carlos cried as he held Tk's cold hand Tk's lips were still blue from the cold "I'm such a fucking idiot .." Carlos said " I can't lose you Ty your the only constant thing I have ...please." Carlos cried as the team walked into the room Carlos wiped his face turning around "Carlos.."Tommy said softly they all came to Carlos wrapping their arms around him " I can't lose him ." Carlos cried " and your not going to Tk's a fighter ." Paul said "maybe he's done fighting .." Carlos said under his breath looking at tk

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