Give Your All to Me

chapter 6

The early morning sun hit Childe as he did a few warm up stretches. He'd made a habit of doing some early morning exercise when he was feeling down. His grief was still there, deep within his heart, but it wasn't this overwhelming presence anymore. It came in waves, like the gentle roll of the tide meeting land, rippling over sand.

He was finally starting to feel normal again.

"Good morning, Ajax," Zhongli greeted, walking up the hill to meet him. "What are we doing today?"

"I was thinking of one-on-one combat," Childe hummed, stretching out his legs. "What do you think?"

"If that's what we're going to do, I believe we should start with Vision training."

Since the purification ritual, Childe felt a slight disconnect between himself and his Vision. He was nervous. What if...he couldn't use it anymore? So the focus of his combat training was physical weaponry, especially on the bow.

Perhaps part of it was his shifting priorities. He wanted a family. He wanted a child. Children. At least three, but maybe more. But where would his duty as a Harbinger fit into this new world view? Could he still do the work he loved with a family of his own?

"Ajax, it's okay to be nervous," Zhongli reassured. "You haven't used your Vision in a while."

"That's not it!" Childe yelled. "That's not...it..."

Zhongli hugged him close. "We're partners. A mated pair. Your concerns are my concerns."

"Am I...can I still...be a Harbinger?" Childe whispered.

"Unless you retire, you still hold your title. You earned it. That won't ever change."

"But I still want to...just as much as I want..." Childe brought his arms around his midsection. "Does that make me greedy? Do I have to choose one?"

"Not necessarily. You could-" Zhongli cut himself off.

Childe knew what he was referring to. He could take the elixir, and become immortal. Never age past his prime years. Have infinite time to do whatever he wanted. To be eternally youthful and energetic.

"I told you, I'm still thinking about it," Childe said, more bitterly than he intended.

Zhongli backed off from the topic. "Then ready your stance. Tap into your Vision."

Childe slowly separated from Zhongli, and began to manifest his blades. He screwed his eyes shut and imagined them in his hands.

"Excellent work, Ajax. It seems my assumption you would be rusty was wrong."

Childe opened his eyes to see his signature blades in his hands as if nothing had changed. He whipped them around, doing a few practice moves to get the feeling of using them back.

"I thought you purged all the corruption from me," Childe mumbled. "That I wouldn't be able to do this."

"We removed ninety eight percent of the corruption. There's still the smallest bit of it still within you. So those abilities that used Abyssal energy are still available to you, just significantly weaker," Zhongli said.

Childe nearly fell over in shock. "Significantly may be an understatement! That's not a small number!" He laughed awkwardly, but internally, he screamed. If things got bad, how would he be able to defend himself, using what little Foul Legacy ability remained? How would he be able to fight again?

He felt that creeping fear in his heart. One he thought he had been able to reconcile with. A fear of weakness. Without the Abyss, he was just as weak and vulnerable as that young boy who fell through the world. He was afraid. If he couldn't fight, if he couldn't prove he wasn't weak through combat, what could he even do?