Chaennie Oneshots

I Love You

It's one of those nights when I badly want to relax I body, close I eyes and succumb to deep sleep. The problem is when I can't sleep even after all the tossing around to get a comfortable position in my very own safe haven which is the bed.

That is currently me in this situation.

Lying down on the soft matress. Eyes solely staring at the ceiling. Pillows thrown on the floor as they are in no use. And hands tightly gripping the crinkled sheets.

I'm tired.

I rub my face in exhaustion before letting out a deep sigh. This has been happening for many nights. I don't think I can remember the last time I had proper sleep.

You vividly remember the last time you had a good sleep, the best sleep I should say. You just chose to not acknowledge that fact anymore.

Pushing aside of what my mind just told me, I groggily got up and look around my room seeing the darkness. I grabbed my phone, halted the movement of my thumb to gaze at my lockscreen wallpaper with a sad smile curved on my lips.

01:16 AM

It's late and I badly want to go back to sleep, but it's just so hard when I have lots of running thoughts in my mind. It's like my brain doesn't want to relax and breathe once in awhile. It'll always go back thinking to that one person who meant everything to me. The one who helped me on my sleepless nights. The one who I truly loved.

Loved. Quit lying to yourself. You never stopped loving her.

That is the truth. I never did stop loving her despite all of what happened. Hurting her through my words and actions. I knew the feeling of what the consequences would be but I never knew this feeling would be that heavy lingering in my chest.

Tears started to form in my eyes and I blinked fast before they could even fall down on my cheeks. I close my eyes to get a grip on myself and decide to do what I was supposed to do years ago. Pressing the call button with her contact name shining on my screen, I then gulped before proceeding to call her name after the third ring.

"Rosie..."

"Jennie"

It's not the same anymore.

Truly, her voice wasn't the usual tone she used everytime I called her back then. I did this. I did this to her. My sweet Rosie.

The moment I said the nickname that only I was allowed to call her ever since, I swore I heard her breath hitched and quiet sobs coming out. But they were all gone too soon when I heard her monotonous tone.

"What do you want, Jen?"

Guilt waved throughout my chest hearing those words coming out from her mouth, but I'm not going to bush around and make up excuses. She deserves the truth. She deserves better.

"I just want to know how you are."

"What do you think, Jen?"

The way her words cracked brought a stab to my heart as I can feel every ounce of emotional pain I inflicted to her. I know how it's too late to ask for forgiveness but I want to fix this and stop hurting her more from my mistakes. I want to rebuild the lost connection we both have after months of the break up.

And if she doesn't want to?

Then I'll do what I should've done a long time ago before making the both of us a mess.

"I know I always kept on apologizing to you. Making up excuses for the mistakes I've done to you. I'm really sorry, Rosie. I just want to apologize for the last time before we move forward with our lives. I just....."