Savior (B.E.)

Square One

- O'Connell, Billie

The silence is too loud in here. I dont even know what time it is anymore. Just that they feed me 3 times a day. Dalia comes to visit me and we do my sessions in here. It's nice just having her in my space.

Todd who I thought would be scared of me, shows up sometimes to talk to me. They've moved him around since I've been in here. I hope they have him stay with me. He's the only one in authority I like besides Dalia, in this place.

The worst part about it is that I'm left alone with my thoughts. Was I a little harsh maybe? I'm sure Dalia thought I was. Fuck that though. I sigh loudly and run my hand through my hair. I look over to my door as it opens.

"Vitamin time Eilish" the head nurse says as she steps into the room. I look at her blankly because they're sure as hell not vitamins. "Don't look at me like that, you know you have to take them. Now come on" she says holding out the little cup. I roll my eyes but get up anyway and take them. "See, was that so hard" she says before leaving.

"Deadly" I shout back. Not that she's even listening. If he does die, will they let me go to his funeral? I feel like they would. My thoughts are interrupted by the door opening again. This time Dalia walks in and I find myself sitting up straighter. "Good morning Billie" she says before sitting down with her notepad.

"Lucie called for you. Wants to know why she couldn't come see you" she opens. "What'd you tell her?" I ask moving my bangs to the sides.

Lucie upset is not something that you'd want.

"Told her that something happened and your visitation got revoked. You get them back this week so I'm sure she'll come" she replies. "You don't have much more strikes against you Billie. One more and they'll transfer you. And I'm sure you'd like to stay closer to the people that care about you" she says looking at me.

"So then what do we do Dalia? Fix me. You said you would before right?" I say tilting my head to the side. "We" she says correcting me lightly "can make some adjustments to your meds and also work on some more cognitive therapy and see how it works." Hmm, okay. "I'm not trying to be like a zombie. I hate that feeling" I say to her.

She nodded before writing something down. "A few days ago, you talked a little about your mom and how she made you feel growing up. And you've mentioned a brother before, what was he like?" She says waiting for me to continue.

My brother is my best friend. He's like the ilo to my milo but for siblings" I say. Its the easiest way I can explain it. "He always helped me out with homework, or took me with him when he'd go out with his friends." I say smiling at the memories. "Has he ever come to visit you?" She asks writing something down again.

Yes, yes, yes
He loves us!
THEN WHY HASN'T HE COME BACK

I shake my head at the thoughts and answer her. "He did when I first got sent to my last one. But after a while he stopped showing up. I dont even know where he is right now " I said playing with my shirt.

"It's time to go" she says. I get up and move to the door quickly. I was so tired of being in there. I look up and see Todd coming towards us. "Long time no see" I say smiling at him. He looks at me and slightly chuckles shaking his head a little. Ha, he loves me.

Dalia leaves while Todd takes me back out to civilization. "Eilish!" I hear and turn to see Calliope running up to me. "What the hell did you do to get stuck in solitary for this long?" She asks me. "I fucked up Wyatt. He was talking shit about my mom and Dalia and I kind of snapped" I said shrugging.