DizzneeLand

Goofy's Kitchen

"My heart burns with a fiery passion for my sun, my star, my night: my Biana. But woe unto me for I am trapped behind these foul bars, and alas, we cannot be together!" Keefe finished his line, then Dex narrated, "The poor souls were far apart, and the fair maid Biana bemoaned the loss of her dear Tam."

"Oh my Tam! My heart longs for thee! My soul is splintered into millions of pieces whenever you are away. How shall I find you? How will I know whether you live or you die? But henceforth I must search for you, until my heart stops beating and I die of old age I will search for you until my love at last is found!" I finished my line dramatically.

"I do not sound like that!" Biana yelled. "Your impression of me sounds like a high pitched yeti! And Keefe, I have never once in my life said 'my heart longs for thee!' or 'henceforth.' And Tam hardly speaks. Is 'alas' even a word that people use anymore?"

"It's a play, Biana," Keefe explained like he was talking to a toddler. "You have to spice it up with LOTS of words like 'alas' 'alack' 'henceforth' and 'thee.' It's playwriting 1-o-1. Besides, I quoted you word for word on lots of the pages. For example page 23: ' I love him, and if anything were to happen to him, I don't know what I would ever d... d.. do, He's tall, and so handsome, muscular officers like you'... need I continue?"

"Okay, that's it. I am shunning you for the next month. Consider yourself shunned."

"Oh, come on B, you know you love me. You're just too scared to admit the accuracy and geniosity of The Tragedy of Tamiana. Dex, it's your line again."

"NO! I order you to stop! I can't take it any more!" Tam yelled.

"Tam, what did we talk about?" I reminded him.

Sigh.... "I'm getting too flustered about things so I need to keep my thoughts and complaints to myself. Even if Linh is approached by a human," he recited.

"That's right Tammy boy. So if I poke you," Keefe proceeded to jab Tam in the stomach, "or if I pull on your bangs," Keefe yanked on his bangs ignoring Tam's glare, "Or if I read your next lines in the play, 'Alas! While I await my fair Biana I am filled with sorrow at the ugliness and stupidity of my sorry excuse for hair..."

"THEN I WILL KILL..."

"Tam..." I warned.

Tam heaved a deep sigh and gave Keefe a look that could kill more than throwing stars ever could. "What I meant to say was I will ignore him and control my initial instinct to hurt Keefe to the best of my ability."

Keefe gave a smirk and did a mocking dance. Tam glared in his direction until Keefe abruptly stopped and turned slightly pale.

"Tam, did you just shadow whisper something to Keefe?" I asked.

"NO!" Keefe yelled. "No, he didn't. I'm just going to take this moment to apologize to Tam, and to... and to..." Keefe looked pleadingly at Tam.

"Say it featherhead," Tam said darkly.

"And to say... that... TAM'S BANGS ARE BETTER THAN MY HAIR. There! I said it. Are you happy now?"

"Tam, you can't just threaten people. That falls into the list of 'things you need to control.'" I admonished.

Fitz was looking at Tam in awe. "You just got Keefe to compliment your hair. You just called Keefe featherhead, and he didn't even retaliate. YOU GOT KEEFE TO SAY YOUR HAIR WAS BETTER THAN HIS!!!! Please," he begged, "teach me your ways oh most wisest of elves."

"A smart elf never reveals his deepest darkest secrets," Tam said smugly. "Oh, and Keefe? No more readings of the play."

"Sure, your highness," Keefe said mockingly. Tam gave him a warning glance. "I meant, as you wish, most highly honored among the elves. I now will retire my masterpiece. Goodbye most wonderful piece of literature! I biddeth you, farewell... for now."