alright, what the f u c c (gold watchers x genderless!reader)

CH. 16

Over the next few days though, nothing came. There was a lull in the usual hustle and bustle of everyday life that you had become accustomed to. The silence was out of place, and it scared you. It felt like the calm before the storm, but not the kind of storm you'd expect.

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'Ugh, why do I feel like this!? They're not even that important, why do I care about them?'

Micheal was in a bit of a turmoil. He was fighting with himself, and at the worst possible moment. There was an imminent threat to the ring pieces, and in turn their lives, and here he was, wondering if he should feel the way he did. Great.

The problem was y/n. They were making him feel like this, and he hated it. But at the same time...

Nope. Not gonna finish that thought. Argh, it was useless. He had spent his entire life being taught what was good and what was bad, and now they were making him question everything he'd ever learned from his parents. It was maddening! These things, these feelings, these thoughts kept building up in his head until he felt like he was going to explode. God, what was happening to him?

He'd been feeling this way for a while now, but he'd been too distracted to actually think about it. He didn't think that it was that serious, and that he was just happy to have someone around that didn't constantly make fun of him. But now... things are a lot more complicated. It was a lot more than friendship in his eyes. 'I'm such a coward. I can barely admit that to myself, much less to them. Idiot. Stupid, stupid, stupid idiot.'

"Nope. Stop that. We have more important things to focus on, Micheal. Get your shit together, and forget this ever happened," He muttered to himself, walking outside.

And that was the end of that. He never once mentioned it, although he thought about it every day. It was eating him up inside, but he could never admit to himself or anyone else. What would the others think? Wait no, what they think didn't matter. Well, except for....nevermind. He banished the thought, and went about his day; the same old routine every time it came up.

At night, he would lay in bed, staring uncertainly at the ceiling until he couldn't take it anymore, and went outside. And on one such particular night, he realized: He didn't even know y/n's gender. The way they dressed fluctuated a lot; some days they were more feminine, sometimes they were more masculine, and sometimes they were both or neither. But now it was even harder to tell their gender because they were a Gold Watcher, and the outfit was for men, as far as he could tell. But maybe it changed depending on the person. It didn't look any different from the others. Well, he couldn't just assume they were a dude, so maybe he'd ask them. He thought to himself, 'Yeah. That's not a bad idea. Definitely can't go wrong.'

And then he began to envision all the ways it could go wrong. All it took was one wrong word, one wrong movement, and it all fell down. He had to go outside to calm down a few minutes later.

The next day, when he entered the kitchen, y/n was there, eating a bowl of cereal. His brain immediately started to panic, remembering last night's resolution. Taking a deep breath, he approached them, trying not to let his anxiety show.

"Hey, y/n, um, I uh, wanted to ask you a question."

They looked up at him from their bowl of cereal. "Yeah, what's up Micheal?"

"What..." He swallowed. "What is your gender? If you're comfortable sharing."

"Oh, well, honestly I'm not sure myself." They shrugged, leaning on the counter behind them.

"What do you mean you don't know? Weren't you assigned a gender when you were born?"

"Well, yeah, but sex doesn't equal gender. Those are two different things. Sex is what you were born as, gender is how you identify. There are lots more genders than just male and female. Some people feel like both or neither, some people switch between all of those. I am inclined to dress a certain way on some days, but I don't really feel male or female, or something like that. I guess what I'm saying is I'm still figuring out what I am, even in death."

He paused, taking all of this information in. This was certainly not what he was expecting. There were other genders???

Shortly after, he thanked them, bidding them a good day before going outside to the back of the manor. Sitting down, he stared at the ground in front of him, trying to organize his thoughts. Okay, so if they weren't a dude, then he wasn't gay. Buuuuuut, they weren't a girl either. Or something like that. That meant he wasn't straight either. Fuck. This was too confusing. Maybe he just wouldn't think about it; Not everything has to have labels, right? 

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The rest of the day proceeded smoothly. There were no humans, no Bierce, no Malak. Just the Gold Watchers.