The Silent Girl

15.

'Ella'

The boys and I walked through the front door, laughing about one of lessons today. 

It had been an alright day, to be honest. I just hoped that nothing made it worse, I was smiling. More than ever, my mother was in prison, she couldn't hurt me anymore, I had my dad and my three amazing friends, despite their protectiveness. 

My dad comes out of the living room door, to my surprise. I thought he was working after school. He comes running over to me and hugging me tightly, his hand goes to the back of my head and the other around my middle as he bends down. 

"Dad" I mumble, into his chest. "What's wrong?" I ask him, and he chokes on a sob. My dad was crying...I've never seen my dad cry. "Dad" I say again, trying to pull away but he just holds onto me, like I was going to evaporate if he let go. 

I hear the door softly close behind me before looking over my shoulder and seeing my friends, a look of concern on their faces. 

My dad suddenly pulls away, wiping his tears away. 

"Why are you crying, dad?" I ask once again, looking up at him. 

"Come in the living room" He tells us all, we all take our shoes off. The boys give me a questioning look but I just shrug, not knowing what was going on right now. 

We all walk in, the boys sit on the sofas, I stay standing up. 

"Ells, you're not in trouble." My dad whispers quietly, focusing his gaze on me. 

"What?" I say, a bit loud if I may say. 

"Miss Bright rang me" He said and I immediately know what this was about. My eyes go wide and I take small steps backwards, looking from my dad to the others who were watching me with caution. "Please, Ells, let me see" He says, taking small steps towards me. 

"I-I'm sorry dad" I mumble, looking at my sock covered feet. 

"You're not in trouble" He says again. The boys are still sat there, with questioning looks. 

My dad stands in front of me, slowing his hands make their way to my wrists. He holds onto them. 

"Please show me" 

I look into his glossy eyes, as he tucks my hair behind my ear. I slowly, guiding my jumper sleeves up, once my dad let go. It reveals my marks, the marks that I made but my mother mentally put there. He looks down at them, before taking one of my hands in his and looking closely. 

"I'm sorry" I mumble, not daring to meet his gaze. Tears flood my eyes and I feel a panic attack, I quickly cover my arms and run out of the room. 

'Jim Brood' 

My eyes were flooded with tears as I watch Ella's do the same. 

When she walked through the front door, with her three best friends at her side. She looked happy and I've just changed that. 

She turns on her heels and basically runs out of the living room and up the stairs. 

I turn back to the other three boys and see them giving me questionable looks. 

"I got a call from Miss Bright, saying that in that notebook, Ella had mentioned self harm." I say softly, watching their concern faces. They just stay silent and look down. 

"Do you want me to check on her?" Luke asks. 

"Yes please" I reply to Luke, running my hand through my hair, rubbing the tears away afterwards.

"It's our fault isn't it?" Noah mumbles, only just loud enough to hear. 

"No, it's not. It's not mine, it's not you guys and it is definitely not Ella's fault, it's her mothers" I say angrily at the thought of Ella's mother. 

"But we didn't notice" Micky says, his head down. 

"Neither did I, our girl is good at keeping secrets." I say, walking out of the room and heading to the kitchen, to prepare dinner. 

'Luke' 

I slowly make my way towards Ella's bedroom. Once inside I see her in between her desk and the wall in her new bedroom. Her knees were up to her chest and her hands on the back of her head as her head was pressed up against the wall. 

"Hey" I say shortly, sitting in front of her, putting my hands on her knees. "You having a panic attack?" I ask her softly. She just nods, her eyes pinched shut. "It's ok Ella, take deep breaths, it's ok" I comfort her, rubbing her knees, to make sure she knows she's not alone. 

A few minutes later, she takes her hands away from the back of her head. Her hands inside her jumpers sleeves. 

"I'm sorry Luke" She mumbles, not meeting my gaze. 

"It's not your fault, Ella" I stroke her hair, moving it anyway from her face. "It's not your fault, I just wish that you have talked to us, rather than suffer by yourself." 

"I will from now on but can you get rid of a couple of things for me?" She asks, finally meeting my worried eyes. 

"Of course" She jumps up and walks around me towards her bedside, I stand up and take a few steps towards her. She opens it and pulls out a small sharp knife and a lighter. 

She doesn't look at them. She just holds them in her hands, now facing me. 

I step closer to her and take them from her hands, before holding them in my hand. She looks at the floor once again. 

I wrap my arms around her body as she hides her face in my chest. We hug for a couple of minutes before I pull back and smooth her hair with my hand. 

"Why don't you get changed and come down?" I offer, she nods. "Call me if you need help with anything." I whisper before making my way out of the room, but before I can leave. 

"Luke" Her tired voice says. 

"Yeah" I say when I turn around to face her. 

"Thank you" 

My smile appears as a small one comes to her lips. 

Just a small one at the moment, but we'll change that soon enough.

'end of 15.'

double update :)

Posted: 31.3.22