The Silent Girl

35.

'Ella'

'...no comment.'

This is all I'm writing in the notebook.

I have decided that not talking and being silent has a positive impact in my life. Therefore, I am no longer saying anything to anyone in school.

I don't care what people say. I want to finish school and move planets. Which I know is impossible but hey, I can dream. 

But, why do I make things worse for Luke, Noah and Micky?

I'm going to stop talking to them. If I do that, they won't have to part up with me and my problems.

So, Buddy drags me out of bed as per usual. And I slip some high waisted jeans on and a crop top ready for school. Before slipping my hoodie on, I re-adjust the crop top that no one will see anyway. Why were hoodie's banned at school anyway? 

I have no plans in taking this off today. 

My dad and I have breakfast together. In which, we talk a little bit, him asking me if I was ok after Kaylee's visit recently. I don't say much, just assure him that I am ok. 

And with that, he drops me off at school. I sigh when I saw Micky, Luke and Noah standing at the gates, waiting for me. 

"Hey Ells" Noah says, as I get out of the car after a small kiss to my head from my dad. I get Buddy out of the back of the car and hold onto him. 

I walk towards them, but walk pass them. Not even pretending to notice them. I just blank them. 

My first lesson was History. Luke, Noah, Micky and myself sat together but I had a plan. 

I made my way to the correct room and politely knocked on the door. Along with Buddy who was rubbing against my leg. 

I heard a 'come in' from my male teacher. So I pushed the door open to reveal him sitting at his desk, no one else was inside - good. 

"Hi sir." I say, going closer to his desk. "I was wondering if I could move seats. I've fallen out with one of my friends and I would just like some space." 

"Yes of course" He replies, smiling at me widely. "There is a space right here" He points to the nearest desk, right at the front of the classroom. 

"Ok, thank you" 

I go to walk out of the classroom. 

"Ella" His voice says. "You can stay in here you know. Until the lesson starts, in 10 minutes" He smiles.

"Ok, thank you sir." I walk to the desk that he says can be mine. 

"I got an email about you this morning." He says to me, leaning against his desk. I get Buddy settled down and underneath the table, by my soon to be foot. 

"Did you? What are they saying about me now?" 

"That doesn't matter. But Ella, you know that I'm here if you need to talk about anything." He sighs. 

Well, I don't, thank you. 

"Thank you sir" I say while sitting at the chair. 

Definitely not going to talk to my nearly 50-year-old about anything. Especially mental health.   

"Do you need any extra tuition for history? I know you had a bit of time off school, I'm willing to help you revise for exams and such." He tells me, standing up and walking around his desk to then sit down on the edge or it. 

"Erm, I don't think I need that but I can't seem to find any practice papers online so is it possible you could email me some?" I ask, sitting down and grabbing my bag to find my books. 

"Yeah, I can definitely do that. I could even print some if you would like."  He offers. 

"That would be amazing, sir" I say, opening my history book to the next clean page and beginning to write the date that we have to write on the first line. "If I complete them, could I bring them to you for mark or could you send me the mark schemes?" 

"I'll send you the mark schemes but I am also more than happy to mark them as well. That way you have the option" He smiles at me gently and walks round to his desk. 

"Thank you so much" I smile, and pet Buddy's head lightly under the table. 

"Two good for now?" He asks before pressing a couple more things on his computer. 

"Yeah, that is perfect" I say. Mr Anderson stands up and walks to his big printer in the corner of the room. He brings a big pile of paper to his desk and puts each paper together with a staple to keep it together. 

The bell goes and I pull my hood of my hoodie back up. I had taken it down, just to talk to the teacher. Now, I was putting it back up. 

"Right, you lot come in" Mr Anderson tells the grumpy teenagers to come in. Slowly but surely they all come in, taking their seats. But Luke, Noah and Micky come to me. Looking at me with concern. 

I clear my throat. "Lesson is starting." I mumble, not even looking up. 

"Ella, please talk to us" Luke begs, while Noah strokes Buddy's head. 

"Luke, Noah, Micky, seats please before I give you three detentions" 

And with that, they go, they walk off. 

'end of 35.'

happy fathers' day to all the amazing dads out there. if your dad is in the heavens, i can assure you he is so proud :)

Posted: 19.6.22