Psyche and Eros

"Good News"

After a short nap to help me make it through my inevitable, tedious day, I wipe the tired from my eyes. I know the tension that awaits me downstairs. I drag my feet down the spiral staircase, dreading each step. The stairs end in our entranceway, but the doorway to the dining room is just right across.

I am welcomed by a worried party the moment I dismount the steps. Their eyes stare at me in silence. Waiting. Their internal dialogue could not feel louder.

I avert my eyes and take a look at the table. Breakfast has already been served and is waiting for me. Cold, no doubt, but I can't bring myself to be hungry anyway. A hot meal wouldn't be any more appealing.

Mother and father have also left their food untouched in front of them. Both of their faces appear as tired as I feel. My sisters appear poised, hiding something beneath the surface. They want to be happy, perhaps, but they know our parents would frown at any show of it.

It is not their problem. They shouldn't have to suffer for their youngest sister's issues...nor her run-in with the Goddess of love.

"I see you've heard the good news..." I try to make light of it, but my voice cracks weakly in my attempt. My small smile doesn't erase it either. They only frown harder in concern.

"Are you mad?" My mother shrills. "You could have been killed! Or worse!"

My father tries to calm her back down by gently grabbing her elbow to bring her back to her seat, but I know he's just as panicked. He stares at me from the corner of his eye, his fear shining through them.

Whenever I see emotion like that from him, I feel the strength of it.

They truly....think I could have been killed by her last night. There is little to defend me. Even less reason for her to grant me mercy when my life means so little.

It's just too bizarre to me. The thought that a Goddess could view us on the same plane. That we are rivals by default. I just don't understand how I should be valued as much as she is. That-

"Psyche. Sit down." Father's voice begs me.

I sit without remark and play with my food along with them. My sisters are clearly growing tired of it, having been the only ones that managed to eat.

"You two are dismissed. Psyche, stay." Father lets them go, both of them rushing to their feet in relief. I don't blame them, one bit.

Mother stares at father pleadingly, while he clears his throat. "Psyche. We need to start taking the arrangement of your marriage much more seriously now. More urgently than your sisters. You are simply not safe otherwise...that much is obvious now. There isn't a person here that could protect you..."

I swallow hard. My throat was suddenly dry and strained. I want to cough...but I won't.

He sounds ashamed. And it's such a horrible sound to hear. It even makes me a little scared-

What a terrible world it is. To have to seduce a husband to be protected. 

 It takes the appetite right out of me. 

"If you think it's best..."I whisper, looking down at the table in defeat. I wish there was more resistance to give, a reason to put up a fight. Either way, I'm not doing myself any favours. Last night must have been some kind of warning. My words of thanks to her can't deter her forever when I have nothing to appease her with...except just disappearing. Which I can't do. Or I can stand at her temple and worship her myself, chasing away everyone there to needlessly worship me, someone who has nothing to offer in return. I am no Goddess. I am not worthy of their praise.

"We will be recruiting some help in making those arrangements." My father affirms, exchanging glances with my mother. 

"Help? What kind of help?" I ask. My face flushes anxiously at the thought of more Gods being involved in this. I already feel unsafe as it is.  

My parents don't directly answer, only admitting that they don't quite know yet. All that matters is that it will be taken care of and that I am forbidden from going outside alone until it is resolved. 

"The guards must accompany you, even if you just wish to take a walk in the garden." My mother grabs my hand with urgency. 

"I thought you said they couldn't protect me," I mumble incoherently. 

My mother's hand tightens on mine. "Yes-but...we don't exactly want to forbid you from going outside at all." 

"-But you rather I do exactly that." I sigh and stand. "I'd like to be excused, please. If I am not to do anything today anyway, I need to catch up for the rest I did not get last night." 

"Of course." They both dismiss me. The moment I've left the room, my father's closest confidants enter the room in a rush, to discuss my situation the moment I'm out of earshot. 

I mount the steps with newfound frustration. Who knew I would become such an unwantable burden. I know my parents love me but...gosh it really feels like no one else will. 

I throw myself back on my unmade bed, burying myself in the same position, my face smothered in my pillow to hide from the light of my window. I pray to myself I'll fall asleep, hoping to wake up to a bounty of solutions, or everything perhaps resolving on its own. 

Shouldn't that be the way it should work with the help of some nameless God or Goddess? It would be...if they decide they don't hold some other irrational grudge against you. Jealous of God knows what, when they have access to everything...everything a princess should have no right to complain about. I have everything except love...everything except immortality. 

I drift with these thoughts consuming me until I go into the deepest sleep I've had in months. My body was too overtired to do much else. It would have been a relief if it weren't for the countless dreams churning through my mind. Not permitting my mind to truly rest. 

Images of Aphrodite standing in my doorway with a knife, shining in the moonlight. Her eyes fierce and unforgiving. A sneer of disgust on her lips as she pronounces my sentence. 

Death. A life of solitude in a tower, perhaps, at best. Each version feels worse than the other the more I ponder each possibility. The tragedy of never getting a chance to try for something important in my life. The horror of getting that chance but never getting to truly use it, stuck and hiding from her in this tower forever...

Or I suppose, I could marry a monster I don't love. Safe, but at the risk of being unhappy for the rest of my days.