Psyche and Eros

Betrayal

The betrayal that shot through his eyes struck me. I stepped back as if it was a physical blow. In the moment I could barely believe the time had finally come: the chance to finally confront who he is, the fact that I know, and what needs to come next. 

And now he has to face it too. 

But he certainly doesn't look pleased about it.

It all happens to fast. The words shooting out of my mouth, his sudden, standing stature towering over me accusingly. 

"You're so beautiful-" 

"-How could you?" His voice boomed. I wouldn't be surprised if my sisters awoke downstairs from its impact.

He sounded like a God.

He didn't care for compliments. I know he doesn't need them and even if he did. They are the last thing that could save me now. 

I dropped the candle, the wax burning my feet before molding to the floor. I leap back, suddenly nothing but a mortal woman in fear of the monster on the hill.

Instantly, he was cast back into darkness as my light source died out on the floor. "What have you done?" His shadow stands like a tower in front of me, eclipsing me into nothingness. Being in his presence suddenly felt wrong. I became inherently unworthy to even imagine sharing a bed with him.

My body shrinks back from him. It is only when he witnesses this reaction that he takes a step back, allowing for me regulate my breathing. 

"Did you think this would be easy? That seeing me would disperse your anxiety? Did you not think it would change us?" 

Somehow, seeing his lips move with each syllable made them all the more real.

"I...I hoped...I mean, just now, I wasn't thinking at all. I should have! I was foolish - I should have-" 

He holds up his hand. I can see the outline of him just enough to see him glide closer. "No, Psyche. I don't believe that." 

I watch him, mouth open. 

"I don't believe you," he cuts me off before I can try defend myself. 

"I already knew!" I find myself shouting. "Eros, please, I'm sorry, but-"

"Please don't force me to repeat myself any more than I already have. Psyche...I can't. You promised me." His voice ends softer. A tinge of heartbreak tainting it. I should have expected this reaction, but somehow it doesn't feel real. 

This shouldn't actually be happening. 

"It does matter, Eros!" I weakly find myself arguing anyway, his name coming more and more naturally to me. "What difference does it make?" 

He calms his breathing. "You gave me your word. That is the difference...and I do not have a mind to forgive broken promises." 

The declaration cuts through me. It felt like a fist physically squeezing my heart as he let me see him. Fully, standing in front of me. 

Still, the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. Now, the most tragic thing I am about to lose. 

"Don't! Please-" I senselessly beg. I barely feel the floor impacting my knees - I only feel what is inside. 

"It pains me to see you like this...but I need to go, Psyche." His cold words send a chill through me, and bring an abrupt stop to my pleas. 

"I will go. You will stay here. You are still my wife-" 

My eyes widen. "You can't-"

"I can. You wondered when this would end. It had to eventually...to keep you safe. In order to do that, I have to go" Eros whispered, nearly sympathetic. As my head bent towards the ground, his hand came to rest on my hair, stroking it back from my face. 

As if that would bring me any comfort. I stayed silent regardless, until I could compose myself. 

"You cannot leave your wife, and your child." 

Silence. 

His hand finally lifted and his being recoiled from me without a word. The information clearly affected him - enough to make him hesitate. 

I wasn't sure what else to do but allow the information to be free. He can either choose to give me the time to earn his forgiveness...or not. 

As I wait for the verdict, I hear the floorboards creak as he returns to being invisible. I don't dare speak. Not realizing that it was far too late. 

The window flew open, letting the cool night air in. 

I flew up to my feet. 

"You will stay here. You will be cared for the rest of your days. As will the child. All your needs with be met, but you will no longer see me." He bids me farewell before I can run to him. 

A sob escapes from me as I lean out the edge, reaching out for nothing. All that can be seen are the stars above, without any glory left in them. 

I sob silently for what feels like an hour. Until it becomes all night long. I fall asleep still holding onto the ledge, crouched on the floor in the freezing cold. It isn't until morning that my sisters wander upstairs to find me. 

They try to comfort me, but they have little words that could console me. Alia wraps a blanket around my shoulder and puts me to bed for another few hours. Afterwards, they both encourage me to eat and have a bath. 

They don't understand what happened. They only know that he is gone for the moment. Cora gives me prolonged looks, waiting for me to admit the truth. Alia doesn't force anything out of me, but I can see the worry creasing her face. 

Days pass, and I still hope to awake with his arms around me. I wait in anticipation every evening hoping that he will open the door and return to me. Even if it were to yell at me, I would accept it graciously. I would be happy to beg once more for his forgiveness.

But he isn't giving me the chance. 

I'm not sure how many days pass before I accepted that when I awoke, I would be alone. That this wasn't a dream. That I was now intended to live out the rest of my days like this. In this secret little home, hidden in the hills, far away from anyone that loved me. 

Even if I can accept this is the situation for now, I cannot forever. 

This solitude feels reminiscent of the punishments from Gods I have heard many times before. Whether I rather push a boulder uphill forever, or waste my life away as a hermit, raising the child of a man who no longer loves me until I wither away...my child watching...it is a tough decision, but it is worth pondering. 

I have the marriage and child I thought I may never be gifted. Now it is all ash in my mouth.