Psyche and Eros

How do you imagine me?

We both went to bed separately that night. Excitement was still sprung in my heart at the kiss, but I had much to think about. 

Like how much more I can handle exploring. How much I feel ready for...and the marriage portion. I know what advancement to expect with that.

And I can choose whether or not to take that next step. It would appear so, anyway, as he's showed me without words.

So we let things settle. He spends more time at home. We spend time walking together...a few times flying despite my hesitancy. It starts to get better once I get comfortable. Seeing the world from that height but still being in complete safety.

It nearly feels ridiculous how safe he makes me feel.

We even started cleaning the house together - a task more appealing with his help, baking together, cooking together. Until none of those things even felt like chores anymore. 

If this is marriage, I could get used to this kind of companionship. 

Even more so, it's starting to feel like this place is becoming my home. I'm missing my old bed less and less, and the bickering of my sisters even less than that. Now, when he's gone, I truly have my own space. My own peace and quiet...and when he's home, I grow to look forward to his company - even excitedly nervous. 

And yes, we've kissed some more. A kiss good morning, goodbye, hello. Each time seems to feel sweeter than the last, but it always remains reasonably chaste. 

By my choice? Probably indirectly. I haven't pushed further, and neither has he. No doubt, he wants me to take the lead. 

We haven't spoken further on marriage either. Not officially. We've just allowed ourselves to get to know each other. Enjoying every nice little moment without overthinking it...but now. I think I am about to start overthinking it. 

These moments only tend to last so long. 

Today, when he comes home, I hear him land outside. The slight swoosh of his wings softening his landing is always a dead give away. 

I walk to the door to greet him as per our usual routine now. His arm swiftly winds around my waist while my face searches for his. Something we are still in the midst of mastering. 

We both laugh quietly as I bump his chin with my nose on the way. Even so, our lips connect smoothly and ever so softly. Butterflies rapidly flutter in my stomach as I consider my next move. My split decision leads me to wrap my arms around his neck, nervously deepening the kiss. 

I'll push the limits just a tad - 

He groans and pulls away, obviously breathless. In a good way, I hope. When he chuckles and takes my hand, leading us both inside, I know that to be the case. 

"Shall we make dinner?" 

I smirk to myself as he bounds ahead of towards the kitchen. He sounds flustered.  

"Of course." I join him happily. Though, I have to admit my mind wanders. Many naive thoughts, many giddy with excitement. I want to...I don't even know what, but I want to know what lies beyond this part. What a full and content life could feel like. How it feels to be loved. 

I am starting to get the inclination of what I want. 

We cook, we eat, and then we talk until the sun has long set. By that time, he stands and lights candles for us, scattering them around us on the table and kitchen. I watch curiously as the flames ignite out of nowhere, miraculously without the need of matches. 

I watch carefully, swearing I saw a glimpse of a hand over top one of them, whizzing away back into the shadows before I could catch a decent look. 

Either way, it makes me blush. "I think I saw you!" 

He chuckles, his voice drawing closer. "I showed you a peek."

"Ah, so it was intentional! You are aware that I already knew how strong you were, without seeing your arms, right?" My chin turns upwards to welcome his approach and warm arms.

I feel them wrap around me, pressing us impossibly close to one another. I never imagined the soft touch of his hand on the small of my back could be so inviting...so comforting...and so...

I don't even know. Everything I am feeling is nearly too overwhelming to put into words. It's all unfamiliar territory, putting me in a constant state of anxious excitement. 

I wrap my own arms around his neck, embracing him back fully, inevitably leading us to kiss. Soft and full lipped -

That is until he invites both of our mouths to open. Quite the learning experience, but I like it more than I expected. Kissing him more and more deeply as I wind my hands through his hair. Ah-his hair! It's nearly a sin for someone to have such beautiful hair wouldn't being able to see it. It's plainly inhuman to be this perfect...

I try to ignore the gripping, impossible-to- ignore, impulse of wanting to see it for myself. 

Still, he senses a shift in me and pulls away abruptly. He sounds reluctant once he speaks. "What's going on inside that head of yours?"

"Lots of things," I try to sound normal, continuing on with feeling his hair, down to his shoulders...his jaw. Oh, that is gloriously defined as well...I can't imagine I would be this bold if I could see him watching me as intensely as I am sure he must be. 

"Hmm, such as?" He's not letting up.

I bite my lip, holding onto the collar of his shirt. "How I imagine you," I finally admit.

Surprisingly, he seems pleased, and pulls me closer. "And how do you imagine me?" 

For some reason, an image of him has begun to form within my mind. I think it has to...I can't picture him as nothingness, nor can I only focus on his voice alone...nor can I imagine him as a monster. A monster could not feel this human. That, I have successfully convinced myself. For now.

I draw my finger along the side of his face. A gesture that seems to silence him entirely, producing a shiver out of him as well. I slightly smile as I allow myself to fully picture him now, as if he were standing in front of me now, freely visible.

"I imagine you as strong. I imagine you with blonde-wavy hair, a chiseled face, and an intoxicating smirk on your face at all times. How is that?" I poke his chest playfully.

He stays silent for a moment as the words settle between us. He continues to hold me, stroking my back every so often. 

It feels wonderful, but somehow I know I've struck something. I know I haven't upset him...but something is saddening him. 

Something, or someone is between us. That never seems to stray far from his mind. Until he's ready to disclose that to me...I will just have to find a way to look around that.

But gosh, is my curious mind killing me.

"You aren't entirely incorrect, if I say so myself," He finally jokes. "But it is nothing compared to lying eyes upon you, Psyche. I can't express it enough."