THEN I FOUND YOU [mcd]

chapter twenty two

Is it a girl, or is it a boy? That's the question I've heard the most today. Some focus more on the child than the person who gave birth to the said child. Phoenix Drop is in complete awe over the announcement of Aphmau going into labor late last night. As of this morning, and mere minutes ago, it is reported that Aphmau is resting as Zoey cleans the baby.

She's allowed her three children and her guards into the room to see the baby before others. Kawaii~Chan and the two children were allowed in as well due to being immediate family to Dante. I've remained outside waiting for Garroth.

There's a bittersweet feeling within me that causes an over looming sense of guilt. I have no reason to be upset with a child who has done no wrong. In fact, I'm not upset with the newborn. I'm not even upset with Lilith. While I wish Aphmau a speedy recovery from labor, there's still the piece of me that grows upset at the thought of her. I've been trying my hardest to try and get over it, and sometimes push off some of her actions as pregnancy hormones and stress, but sometimes it's hard to do so.

I want to be able to forgive Aphmau for all that has happened. I truly do, but it's hard. I take small things and blow them out of proportion. That's no excuse for my own actions. Jealousy has struck me hard when it comes to the past, and anger fuels me at others' actions. It's actions like this that make me seem like a child.

Garroth comes out of the house with a soft smile. "It's a girl," he whispers to me and away from hungry ears. "Alina. They want to introduce Lilith to her soon."

I simply nod my head as we begin to walk forward. New people have come from near and far to live in Phoenix Drop. This has caused a lot of construction to take place to shelter those who come to reside. I've given up the little house I have and watched it be restored. Garroth insists on building a house for us to move into sometime in the future.

Kawaii~Chan and Dante are in the process of building a new house. Kawaii~Chan is involved in the design of it, and the outside is being adorned in pink and white. I can't help but giggle at the idea of Dante living in a pink house and being proud. A happy wife means a happy life.

They expanded Aphmau's house a bit these past two months. They did it quickly in fear of Alina being born sooner than later. There wasn't much that had to be done, since Levin and Malachi made sure the house stayed intact those fifteen years of us being in the Irene Dimension.

Garroth comments on my quietness, and I suddenly grow shy from it. He squeezes my hand and swings it back and forth within his grasp. I shrug my shoulders and sit down nearby in the tall grass.

The warm breeze runs through my hair and messes around with my parting. It's May, and the weather has made that evident. Green grass covers the ground for miles on end, and I can see wildflowers blooming when I play with the children. I am able to bring Luca and Lilith out while this happens and seat them on a blanket. Picnics have even resumed outside, like long before. I don't have to wear a jacket like in the winter, and I've long forgotten the idea of gloves.

Garroth plops himself against the grass next to me and lies on his back. He tilts his head up to look at me with a lifted eyebrow.

"I suppose I'm just a mess," I admit, a heavy sigh releasing from within me. I turn my head away from him in shame before continuing. "I'm still upset with the past. I can't get over what Aphmau has done. Toying you and my brother along, turning each of you against each other. The letters she sent to my sister when both Laurance and Vylad left. Then at the beginning of our relationship, insisting that I'm toying you along because I missed my brother and was confused."

Garroth sits up at my words. His shoulders tense up, and every once of relaxation within him has disappeared. "You didn't tell me about that conversation."

"I didn't wish to remember it."

I can hear Garroth sigh too, but there's a difference between his and mine. While mine is due to defeat, his almost seems to be filled with multiple emotions. Anger, regret, you know it. He pulls me into his side and kisses the top of my head. I'm held tightly to Garroth's side, but it doesn't hurt. It's comforting.

"There's nothing any of us can do about my past emotions for her and Laurance's. I cannot answer for Laurance if his are gone or not. While the situation wasn't ideal, there's nothing we can do but learn to get over it. I most certainly have," Garroth begins to laugh before squeezing my little frame and falling back onto the ground behind him again. This causes me to roll on top of him. "In fact, I'm glad I overcame those emotions and realized I loved you. Otherwise, we wouldn't be where we are now."

"Homeless?"

"We're not homeless!' My hair is caging Garroth's face as I look down at him. I can see it bending against the pillow like grass. "But anyway, we just need to overlook what's happened. While it can be frustrating, including that conversation I just learned about, we need to be the bigger person. I know it'll take time, Al, but it's what's best for both of us."