THEN I FOUND YOU [mcd]

chapter one

All my life I have been with my brother. From birth, through adoption, to eventually going to Phoenix Drop as a forever home. Never once did I think we would separate from each other's sides.

For, all I have ever known is Laurance Zvahl.

Back in the orphanage, Laurance was always the person I went to. The person I relied on to never leave me. He was shy. Why would he? I was the outgoing one. I still don't understand when those roles changed.

I do not understand where he has gone. He has left my side for countless days that I have run out of fingers to count on. I don't wish to start on my toes.

I'm wandering around aimlessly through the trees. I've felt hopeless since Laurance left. Cadenza has gone back to Meteli, and. I'm on my own. I don't like this feeling whatsoever. It's terrifying.

A bush nearby moves and makes a sound. I slowly turn towards it to see Vylad emerging from its greenery. We're silent until he calls out my name to me. My feet don't move, and there's a feeling in my stomach that's unsettling.

He walks to me until we are a foot apart. Perhaps he can sense the feeling of defeat swirling within me. Maybe he knows I think something is going to go wrong any second now.

"They've concluded that Laurance is missing," he tells me. Vylad has grown used to my silence to know that I don't respond too much anymore. Instead of waiting for a comment from me, he continues. "May be dead. . . Or perhaps, he doesn't want to be found."

I stare at him. My stomach didn't betray me by predicting our encounter. This was something I didn't wish to hear. I've dreaded this thought every waking moment since Laurance left. I should've known that this was going to happen. All the signs. . . But I ignored each and every single one of them. I was foolish to believe that he would end up okay.

He clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. Our eyes meet again before he speaks. It's one of his tells: rubbing the back of his neck. There's something he doesn't want to tell me but knows he has to. That, or he's nervous. It could be both. "I'm leaving for Tu'la by the end of this week. I plan to find Garte."

"You're leaving me too?" I ask him. It's clear to see my words startled him. It wasn't expected for me to respond. "Does Kandi know?"

"Everyone else knows already."

So I'm the last to know. Again.

I question if he feels guilt. He's my best friend. My confidant. The man who became my first love. Now, he's leaving me, like everyone else has. I felt like he was the only one who understood me, but I feel silly now for believing he wouldn't leave. Vylad was never one for staying in one place long.

I just can't wrap my head around why he is going to be in search of a man who does not love him. He could instead stay here and be with those who do. While Vylad and I have ended our history in the past, there will always be something special for him that I cannot shake.

I know I have fallen out of love with him. I simply could not wait for someone to learn to love me back, when it is near impossible. I accepted that with time.

After I came back from the Irene Dimension, Vylad had disappeared. I didn't see him again for months.

It was a shock when we stumbled into one another in the middle of the patches of trees on a random winter day. He was in such a shock that he placed his hands on my cheeks to see if I was real or just a figment of his imagination. I hadn't aged in fifteen years. I looked just the same as I had before. He was convinced I was gone, but the warmth of my skin told him differently.

I told him he was silly and that I wasn't one to easily be disposed of. Though when his hands touched my cheeks, I didn't blush. I didn't feel a spark nor butterflies. I hadn't felt how I did so long ago.

I regret saying I wasn't a person to be easily disposed of. The irony in my past comments are strong.

This proved to me that I was truly over him and my rising feelings for Garroth were not misplaced. Then, more time passed and Garroth appeared out of nowhere. A giant fire filled hole surrounding him.

Watching him with Aphmau and seeing how hurt he was seeing her so broken nearly broke me. She suffered a loss, most certainly. He was kind to us and a great help. But at that moment, I was almost envious of her. Such a cruel, and horrendous, thought looking back now. I knew I loved him before, but seeing how lovesick he was over her only proved it more. It hurt greatly.

Then Laurance left. And now. . . Vylad too.

"Alex, I-"

I shake my head and cut him off. "No, Vylad. I understand. I don't wish for any excuses."

The surrounding air saddens, and soon Vylad takes a few steps back. The leaves crunch from under his weight as a giveaway of his retreating. "Goodbye, Alex. Maybe sometime in the future. . . We'll see each other again."

I highly doubt that.

He soon disappears from my range of vision and leaves me alone amongst the trees. I sit down on the earth, pressing my back against its bark, and let out a scream. My eyes close shut tightly and sobs escape from my mouth.

At this point in my life, all it ever seems to me is that people will forever begin to leave. Forever forgotten from their lives and casted away like a shadow. It's only a matter of time before everyone else does too.