THEN I FOUND YOU [mcd]

chapter twelve

Nekoette tugs onto my hand and brings me close to the floor. She's running across the high grass and is dragging me with her.

Dante has news he wants to share with me. And by asking Nekoette if she knew where I was, Nekoette suddenly was on the search to find me. Of course, she did find me, and my arm has been almost pulled out of its socket for minutes now.

I watch as Kawaii~Chan comes out of the house and scolds Nekoette about her actions. I'm hot and a mess from running. My hair is astray in every direction, and my breath is uneven.

She most certainly has a great amount of energy, and I fear I cannot match it all the time.

Dante comes outside after Kawaii~Chan, shaking his head at his daughter. "You're silly!" He calls out to her, laughing afterwards, despite Kawaii~Chan's disapproval. "You didn't have to drag her to me. We have all the time in the day to speak."

Nekoette doesn't seem to be tired in the slightest and let's go of my wrist. She quickly apologizes before rushing past Kawaii~Chan and into the house. Kawaii~Chan waves subtly to me before following after her and scolding once more on her forgetfulness of taking off her shoes.

"Dante, what was so urgent that Nekoette dragged me all the way here?" I ask, rubbing my pained wrist gently. He brings me inside, sitting me on the sofa. He sits down next to me, cheerful. "What's going on?"

His smile beams as he looks around. "You two danced?" He questions, though I know he knows the answer already.

I didn't take Dante for much of a gossip until I had gotten much closer to him. I blush and look down at my hands as they sit in my lap. "Why, yes, yes we did. I think it was lovely, but it wasn't anything big. Just a simple dance between us."

He looks at me, unamused. We both know that my mind thinks differently than what is coming from my mouth. My heart quickens at the mere thought of our dance.

I've always been small. Compared to Garroth, this is truly present. His hands wrapped around my waist and created a warmth and security I couldn't ignore. When he let me go, the feeling lingered. He was close to me, and I felt as though I was under a trance. I didn't mind having to look up at him as much as it caused. I enjoyed every moment of it.

"Did anything else happen?"

I look at him, silent. I cannot come to the conclusion of if he knows of that night or if it was kept silent.

"I had a nightmare."

It was then I spilled that night's events to Dante. The fear and the love I felt. At that moment, it felt like I had a lover, but it also felt like I had my brother. Laurance would hold me in his arms as I cried about my nightmare. But the love I felt last night wasn't brotherly love. It was the love I longed for for so long that I felt. It was foolish of me to think maybe he liked me back at that moment. He compared me to his brothers.

He thinks for a moment before smirking to himself. "A little birdie told me that Garroth is confused about his emotions. There is another girl on his mind."

I perk up at this. "Is that birdie Kandi?"

He waves his hand to dismiss my words. He goes on to explain that Garroth and gone to him to rant, just like I have. He finds entertainment in this, but he doesn't dare say it. I just know it.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

The fire crackles and pops in front of my feet.

The night sky above consists of glittering stars, but they don't mean much to me at this moment. I'm left with my thoughts, and I cannot tell if it's a poor idea or not.

This situation is confusing.

A stick breaks from the impact of someone's step, but I don't put my mind to it. I don't believe it to be of great danger. The fire is dimming and cold is replacing its warmth. A hand touches my shoulder, and I look up. "Garroth."

"Alex. It's grown cold out here, and your fire has died down," he tells me, motioning to the smoky earth. "Won't you come inside?"

I look at the fire before shaking my head and slowly lifting myself from the log I'm sitting on. Straightening the fabric of my dress, I sigh and go to fetch wood from the nearby pile.

"It's easier to be out here," I admit, feeling bits of bark and dirt crumble onto my hands. I scowl but kneel down by the fire, trying to find a way to revive it. I feel Garroth's hands swallow mine and take the wood away. He's starting up my fire again. "I-" Our eyes lock together, and my body relaxes. "Thank you."

He only hums out a response. I walk over to my log and sit down. I watch in silence as he sets up the fire.

When he finishes, he walks over to me and sits on the log. He smiles softly, but I can tell that even his mind is cloudy. It's like my own.

I bite my lip and look up at him. "I envy you all," I clasp my hands together with a sigh. "I envied you before on how you weren't afraid to place others' lives over your own. And sometimes, I'd grow angry only because I feared you would lose your life. I cried and begged Laurance to stay away from the life of a guard when we were younger. Each time he told me it was what he wanted and that he felt as though he were doing his part in the world by becoming one." I shake my head with a shaky, but forced, laugh. He places his hand on mine, and I have to ignore the butterflies. "You've all done something memorable. You've done something with your life, and I. . . I haven't. A lord, mother, father, guard. . . You will all have something to be remembered by, and I won't."

Garroth squeezes my hand to remind me of his presence. He seems hesitant, but soon breaks the silence. "You're wrong."

"Am I? I've never experienced what it's like to have a romantic partner. Vylad could never have given me that. I have never had the desire of being a guard or a lord. I've grown wishing to be a mother because that was something I could do, and I fear that won't happen."

Garroth looks at me shocked. Maybe I shouldn't have brought that up. He stands quickly and looks down at me. I gasp at this. "You can still do that. It just takes time."

I stand up to at least try and change the height difference. I straighten my dress and clean myself up. "What good has time done before?" I ask. "It's never done us any good. The man who has captured my attention is in love with someone else who has shown she would never return his affection, but yet he keeps waiting for her. Then, when I say something, he says it's complicated." My mouth falls open as my hand tries to cover it. I shake my head with a soft sigh.

"Alex I-"

"Please, don't speak," I beg before turning on my heel. I take a step forward. "I think it's best we both call it a night."