THEN I FOUND YOU [mcd]

chapter fifteen

I've gone from avoiding Garroth to avoiding watching over children. Ever since Nekoette fell into that hole, I haven't trusted myself with children ever since. If I can overlook a child that can speak and move around on her own, what about a baby? Lilith can't tell me that she's lost.

My torso still hurts from the rope rubbing up against my skin from slipping under my shirt. I'm beginning to think that maybe it's better that I received the burn. It's like a punishment for my mistakes.

I don't have the courage to face Kawaii~Chan again after the incident. I tried my hardest to apologize to her when it happened. Why would you want the person who caused the disaster to comfort you? Aphmau simply swooped in and stole the thunder of being a hero. Or, at least, the hero of comforting the hurt mother. While she did this, the villain hid away and faced her actions.

Dante has talked to me, and he continually tries to convince me that what happened was not my fault. However, I don't think of it that way. I can't force myself to think that way, either.

"How is your waist feeling?"

I look up to Garroth with a weak smile. I rub my waist gently where the burn is. I slowly look at my red skin with a soft sigh. "It still hurts, but I deserve this."

He sits down next to me and examines the red skin as well. After looking it over, he looks back at me, questioning how often I've been treating it. When I answer him, he gives me a look of disapproval that a father would give to a child. I know this look well because of my father.

Garroth then gets up and raids my supplies, finding what he wants and coming back to me. My eyes widen as he sits close to me. I iced myself when I got home and applied a cream to it. I don't see what else he could possibly do.

"I don't understand why you believe you deserve bad things," Garroth tells me, shaking his head. He goes back to focusing on my waist and apologizes from time to time if he is hurting me or is making me uncomfortable. I am not uncomfortable, but I am nervous. As for pain, there is indeed a great amount of pain. "It wasn't your fault that she fell in. It looks like the ground below her fell out from under her and brought her down. Dante and I looked at the area when she was brought home to calm down and be cleaned up."

"Garroth, I wasn't watching her, and she wandered off too far and fell in!" There's shame in my voice as I speak. If I had been watching her better, this wouldn't have happened. Instead, I decided to play instead of being an adult and supervising.

"You were playing hide and seek. You were the seeker! You weren't supposed to know where she was going," he defends, trying to prove to me that what happened wasn't my fault. "Nekoette doesn't blame you. Dimitri doesn't blame you. Dante doesn't blame you. Even Kawaii~Chan doesn't blame you. Nobody blames you, Alex, but yourself."

He stops with his nursing and grabs onto my hands and squeezes them. His eyes are begging me to quit blaming myself. I look away from him. I can't help myself from doing so. Eventually, Garroth lets go of my hands and stands up. I watch him walk off to put my things back in their correct position.

"Garroth, I want to explore where she fell. . . When you lowered me down, I noticed how there were different pathways from that spot. I want to know what they lead to." Garroth looks at me with a peak of interest. I know from the top looking down, you could slightly tell that there were premade pathways. Though, you couldn't see much of them from the place we were at. But when I was down there, I could see them better. They were dark, of course, but there's nothing a little light can't fix. "Also, I do have a question for you." He lets out a hum, showing that he's listening. "When you sent me down there, why did your solution become tying the rope around my waist? Why not where I could sit, or we could place our feet in a loop. Better yet, why didn't you just bring a ladder?"

He looks at me in embarrassment. I can tell this through the rosy pink blush coating his cheeks. He awkwardly laughs and rubs the back of his neck. "Well, you see. . ." I lift an eyebrow at his hesitation. "We panicked and didn't think of bringing a ladder! Who knows, maybe it wouldn't have been tall enough anyway."

"Would've been worth a shot. Could've brought the rope as a backup plan."