The Dealers

Chapter 59 - Noah

In just a short while, Lena had changed.

It was like looking at a completely different person—a person that had given up.

A chill ran down my spine at the thought of what that could mean.

By now, I knew Lena better than she knew herself and despite everything that happened between us, that hadn't changed. Even though I couldn't pull her into my arms the way I desperately wanted and tell her how much I loved her and needed her to be strong—I couldn't.

I watched Lena as she put on the beanie I gave her. She smiled like she was fooling the world but I could see the shift in her. She was stronger than even me and giving up wasn't in her nature. But now, the girl that stood before me didn't seem that way at all.

Azrael could feel it, too. He watched Lena more closely than normal and that was saying a lot. When she moved, he moved and I had to hold myself back from doing the same. It was instinctive for me—even now—to want to reach out and play that role.

I had to remind myself every second, that she wasn't mine anymore.

Snapping myself out of that pity party, I watched Lena and the look on her face when she thought no one else was watching. As much as I wanted to dwell on the fact that I had lost her—we were all about to lose her if I wasn't careful.

Azrael might have thought I was nuts for suggesting that she would hurt herself but I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't wrong about it. To whatever degree, I wouldn't allow that to happen. Whether she belonged to me or not, I had to keep her safe and that was going to be my main objective.

"Are we ready?" Eli asked as he looked at us standing in the library, all bundled up for the journey.

I nodded and loked at Lena.

Again, that fake smile of hers. How could Azrael be falling for it? Surely he had to sense that something was off?

"It's now or never." I said flatly, directing my comment to Lena only.

She looked at me and for a second, time stopped.

Her eyes were burdened like I had never seen before. Even when I hurt her and pushed her away—her eyes still held the slightest glimmer of hope and fire in it. But not anymore.

Against my better judgement and self-preservation, I stepped towards her and pulled her by the hand towards me. No one else moved—not even Azrael.

"Noah.." She said and instantly, I was right back to where we once were—before things got complicated. The way she said my name—the way it rolled off of her lips—I nearly couldn't' stand it.

But, I knew that Azrael's leniency and quite frankly his last remaining patience with me was fleeting. If I pushed it any further, there would be more of a mess to clean up than there already was.

I closed my eyes for a second and breathed in deeply. The familiar scent of peach making me want her even more.

"You mean more to us," I said softly, stopping myself from resting my chin atop her head and pulling her against my chest, "and nothing would be worse than losing you"

The tears filled her eyes for a split second but she pulled away from me and pretended to fix the beanie on her head. When she turned back around, she had pulled herself together.

Or so it seemed—except that I could see the truth beyond her facade. I could feel the anxiety radiating from her and the tension rising from her shoulders. Her brow arched in that way she did when she was unhappy but didn't want to burden other people.