The Dealers

Chapter 56 - Lena

Tension continued to build in Noah's eyes as we sat in the study, but he kept to himself. I couldn't blame him and at the same time, couldn't offer him anything. I felt terrible but it was as if I wasn't in control of my own emotions. While I knew that I still had feelings for Noah, it was almost like those feelings were locked away in some distant part of me and not even I had access to.

I tried not to let the panic of that realization overwhelm me because I had very little grip left on reality and I was holding on for dear life. Noah and I still had so much unfinished business and I hated that it took a backseat to the situation at hand because Noah meant so much to me—even after everything that happened.

On the other hand, there was Azrael and it was impossible for me to discount him even after the way our relationship started out. I hated that I had a soft spot for him. I hated that despite everything he did, I didn't hate him at all. The pull I felt towards him had been seemingly explained but was that all it was? If I could somehow be cured of it all, would I not feel that way for him anymore?

There were so many questions and it only seemed that more were being added to the pile faster than we could find answers. I wasn't thrilled about what little Noah's brothers could offer me but it was better than nothing and I, myself, surely didn't know what to do.

Trying to swallow the harsh reality of it all, I promised myself I wouldn't lose my composure. Somehow, it felt like keeping the peace fell to me—the middle man in everything—and if I lost it, what would keep Azrael and the Hawthorne brothers from going to war?

"I'll bring her in." Finn said finally after Azrael announced that we had a visitor. "But, understand that she's not used to,"—he gestured at Azrael standing there—"you."

"What if you left for a bit?" I turned and asked Azrael before I could think twice.

Once the words left my lips, I immediately regretted speaking at all but Azrael didn't react the way I expected him to. Instead of losing his cool, he took a deep breath and nodded, "if you think that's best."

The entire room was in shock and everyone looked at each other to see if they'd actually heard what they thought they had.

"Really?" I asked, my own eyebrow raised in suspicion.

Azrael sighed and I could sense the annoyance in his voice when he spoke but he humored me none the less, "yes, if you think it's best then I will go."

Noah was about to speak but Azrael made sure to cut him off to clarify, "—that doesn't mean I am leaving." He snapped towards Noah, "I am going outside to see if it helps but the second she finds anything—I'm back here whether the witch likes it or not."

Not wanting to push my luck, I nodded and Azrael left the room swiftly. Standing in silence, the rest of us didn't dare bring attention to what just happened. Instead, we waited for a moment and eventually, Finn and Eli left the room.

For the brief moment Noah and I had alone together, I contemplated reaching out but I just stood there—as did he. Neither of us spoke and before I could formulate another thought, Finn and Eli were back with a petite redhead trailing behind them with an unsure look on her face.

I didn't blame her.

"Tessa, this is Lena and you know Noah." Finn introduced and I realized that I was the only one who didn't know this person. Noah had evidently already met her and left it out somehow.

Feeling myself grow defensive and somewhat angry, I tried to reel back in those emotions. I was so easily triggered—something I undoubtedly attributed to Azrael. I didn't like it and I hate that I wasn't in control.

I realized that I was spacing out while the redhead waited for me to acknowledge her standing there with an introduction. Snapping back, I smiled at her as pleasantly as I could manage but she was so nervous that she hardly noticed.

Nervous.

She was incredibly on edge and I knew that it was because of Azrael. Even though he left the room, she was aware of him as much as I was. I hated to admit that I knew Azrael wasn't far because I could feel him.

I didn't know how or what to do about it—the thought scared me to my core—but, I had to play it cool because there was so much at stake already.

"Tell her what you told us." Eli said to Tessa hastily, recognizing that we didn't have much time.

She paused, looked around cautiously and then sighed, "I can't guarantee any of this will work."

"Any of what?" Noah interjected, narrowing his eyes at the girl Azrael called a witch.

Still hesitant, Tessa explained, "this an extreme circumstance and a complicated one at that." I could hear Noah scoff but he didn't interrupt her and she continued, "there are so many different variables at play here. I can't guarantee anything."

"We'd be putting Lena in danger." Noah said matter-of-factly and the look of dread on Tessa's face confirmed it.

"Everyone involved would be in danger." Tessa said slowly but certainly. "Azrael is powerful enough but Lena is still human—to some degree. This whole thing would take a big toll on her."

"If we do nothing, she's in just as much danger." Eli reminded Noah but he didn't budge and the look of concern on his face remained.

"Hypothetically," I said slowly, my voice more shaky than I expected, "what would the plan look like? If we had to do something, what would it be?"

Tessa paused and I knew that she was torn between what we asked of her and what she knew was a bad idea. I had been between that rock and hard place myself. There was only a bad outcome versus a terrible one—nothing good could really happen for me at this point.

"We need to syphon some of the magic out of you." Tessa tried her best to explain as simply as possible. "Your bond with Azrael is what caused this imbalance so we need to bond you with someone else—someone entirely human. The theory is that you'll hold less of that magic inside yourself."

"What about the human?" I asked again, still not willing to put anyone in harms way to save my own ass.

"In theory," Tessa repeated again—making sure we understood that in reality, no one knew what to expect, "the human should be fine and you should regain some semblance of humanity."

Humanity. What a concept.

"What about Azrael?" Noah asked, his eyes not rising from a distance spot in the room. "What about their bond?"

Tessa looked at Noah and then at me, the sympathy evident on her face as she tried not to show it. "I can't say."

Yet again, I saw Noah's heart break.

"The bond they have cannot be broken but the hope is that the new bond we create, between Lena and the human, will be stronger."

"So she's going to fall in love with some random ass person?" Noah scoffed. "This is great."

"It's not so much love as dedication." Tessa tried to explain. "The bond that Lena forged with Azrael was a bond of sacrifice. Azrael gave up a part of himself to heal her—a selfless act that created their connection. This new bond is going to be a bond of loyalty and duty. They will be tied to each other yes, but not in the same way."

"Why does she have to be tied to anyone?" Noah asked, the hidden thoughts and emotions slowly slipping through the crack in his strong exterior.

Tessa had no answer for him and neither did I. Silence engulfed the room as I frantically searched for something to say or do but I came up empty handed.

"First things first, brother," Eli said as he tried to comfort Noah, "we save Lena from Azrael and then we can worry about the rest, okay?"

Eli was right. We had a million problems but the main issue was saving my humanity. While it was already hard to remember what the even felt like—before Azrael consumed all of me—I had to try and get back to that.

"So what do we do now?" I asked finally, all eyes in the room returning to me.

"Well," Tessa said cautiously, "we have to find a human."