The Dealers

Chapter 13 - Lena

Sitting across from Noah at the restaurant, I was being tortured by the hurt look on his face. That hurt understandably turned to anger as he slowly pried the truth from me. As much as I tried to avoid it, I couldn't lie to him.

Did Jacob want to talk about his feelings towards me? Noah was right and I hated pretending that he was so off the mark. It was clear as day that there were hidden feelings there between Jacob and I.

"The last thing that I want to do is hurt you." I told Noah after we'd both been quiet for a while and barely touched our food. "But, you wanted the truth and I'm not going to lie to you."

Noah rubbed his chin with his hand and tried to calm himself. I could still sense that he was on edge.

"I get that." Noah replied slowly. "But, I'm not okay with it."

I was taken aback by his response especially since it wasn't his decision to make. We were on our first date and I'd know him for only a few days. My loyalty had to lay with Jacob, right? It should be a no brainer.

And still, I struggled to decide. On one hand, Noah and I were not in a relationship. Just like I had no jurisdiction over what he did, he couldn't tell me what to do, either. I hated that he felt entitled to what I could or couldn't do with other men. I understood it, because I, too, shared the same odd possessiveness over Noah that he was exhibiting towards me.

Reminding myself that I could relate to his reaction and that I wouldn't be thrilled if the roles were reversed, I gave him a break and let him come to terms with the anger he felt about it. While I still owed something to Jacob, I could try to compromise with Noah if it made him uncomfortable.

"You're not?" I said between clenched teeth as I struggled to acknowledge his feelings.

"No." He said matter of factly. "How can I be?"

I was unsure how to answer that, too.

"I like you, Lena." Noah said bluntly. "I like you a lot. In fact, it's kind of scary how much I care about you. I know that Jacob has feelings for you, too. Nothing good can come from you meeting up with him."

"Jacob and I are friends." I reminded him.

Noah just sat there across from me and stared out the window.

"Before you came to town, we pretended that everything was fine." I continued. "Jacob and I never spoke about whatever feelings there may or may not be between us. It worked for us. I wasn't dating anyone and he wasn't dating anyone—there was no real reason for us to ruin our friendship just to find out."

I knew how much Noah hated hearing about Jacob and I but, I had to be honest with him.

"You came to town and you forced us to face those feelings." I told him.

"I didn't know those feelings were reciprocal." Noah sighed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

I was doing more harm than good by talking.

"I don't know." I answered him honestly. "You can't just sweep me off of my feet and not expect me to feel anything for Jacob. He's a big part of my life."

"So, I keep hearing." Noah said sarcastically but I let it slide because I knew that he was hurt.

"What do you want from me?" I asked him because I honestly didn't know what to do.

"I can't ask anything of you." He told me honestly and it made me feel defeated all over again. "As much as I think you going to see Jacob tomorrow is a bad idea, it's not my choice to make."