My Unforgettable Spectrum (Cariñoso Series #1)

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I prefer to do things on my own most of the time in life. I'm not used to sharing my problems since I feel like I'm oppressing people. But I always felt it was my obligation to look after them if they were the ones in trouble.

Nonetheless, we needed to let go of our emotions now and then. At the very least, we require someone to rely on. After all, crying and venting don't make you any less of a person.

I grew up thinking that I should never fail. Iyon ang tinatak sa utak ko ng mga nagpalaki sa 'kin. I felt like I was in a prison, with no freedom to do what I desired. Because they said it would be a way for me to repay them. By doing exactly as they ask.

And I always assure myself that everything will be fine. That they are more sophisticated than I am. After all, that was the only thing they did that made me feel like they cared... At least iniisip nila kapakanan ko, 'di ba?

Matapos kaming kumain nila Hendrix at Sebastian, we decided to go home after. Sa susunod na linggo daw o kung kailan kami puwede ay iniimbitahan kami ni Tita Sasha para doon kumain. I also wanted to take a break for a while.

Hindi matanggal sa isipan ko 'yung narinig kong usapan ni Sebastian at Hendrix. Kahit nang ihatid nila ako pareho sa bahay namin ay 'di ako umiimik. Hindi rin naman nila ako tinanong dahil alam nila na hindi rin ako palasalita.

Hearing that Sebastian had already developed feelings for someone made me feel a pang in my chest. I know he'll confess, court the girl, and drift away from me eventually. I usually say that I don't like being reliant on others, but Sebastian has helped me get used to it because everything in him was always sure.

Alam kong mali. Mali 'tong nararamdaman ko. I shouldn't be selfish because there is no 'us' to begin with. If that will make him happy, sino ba naman ako para pigilan 'yung tao na walang ibang ginawa kundi alagaan ako palagi, 'di ba?

But I must say, whoever the girl is, she is exceptionally lucky. Sebastian has always been the ideal man. He's too kind... too good for me. Itinatatak ko na 'yon sa utak ko, hindi ako pwedeng mahulog sakanya dahil magkaibigan lang kami... At ngayon, nalaman kong may gusto pala sya. Mas lalo ko dapat syang iwasan.

Kinabukasan ay Linggo kaya nag-ayos ako para magsimba bago dumiretso sa bahay ni Lola. She told us to prepare, at least because the granddaughter of my grandma's friend is back here in the Philippines. At sobrang ka-close nya 'yung apo na 'yon. Kahit labag sa loob ko ang pumunta ay wala naman akong magagawa.

I was simply dressed in a beige polo top that complemented my jeans. I also put my hair in a bun to make it look neater, and I used powder and color to avoid looking pale. Before taking my bag and leaving the house, I looked in the mirror to see if I looked okay.

Mas maganda na maaga akong umalis para maaga rin akong makapunta kay Lola. I bit my lower lip upon realizing that no one will be there for me again. Na baka umuwi nanaman akong luhaan. Kuya Atticus won't be there again because he had his readings and he was busy with his law school.

Dumiretso ako sa simbahan at magsisimula palang 'yong misa kaya umabot ako. I was listening to the priest in front who is currently having homily. Nang matapos na ay lumabas na 'ko at dumiretso muna sa may fishball-an not only to see Terrence standing there.

"Uy! Claire, ginagawa mo rito?" He asked while he was holding a cup. Simple lang 'yung suot nya. He was wearing plain shirt and jeans.

"Katatapos ko lang magsimba. Ikaw ba?" I asked back. He looks casual pero para rin syang may hinihintay.

"Inaantay ko kasi si Mama. May kausap sya doon sa loob," he said, pertaining inside the convenience store. "Ayaw nya ako papasukin kaya rito nalang ako. Inaantay ko rin si Harleigh..." he let out small chuckle.