My Unforgettable Spectrum (Cariñoso Series #1)

Chapter 20

Lover - Taylor Swift
Thousand Years - Christina Perri 

Chapter 20

I was smiling — not just because of the poem but because of everything he did. Some may call it the bare minimum but it's a different case for me. I never experienced those things with other people. He was always willing to do things for me, something I'm always grateful for.

The following months were typical for me. The typical things usually happen to me; pressure and seeking for my validation. Finding my worth.

I have always been wishing that one day, I could find my own worth without needing others' opinions. Dahil ngayon, pakiramdam ko malabong mangyari 'yon sa akin. Nasanay na akong marinig muna 'yung opinyon ng ibang tao. Kung masaya sila sa nangyari sa akin, tsaka lang ako pwedeng mag-diwang. 

"Siguraduhin mong mai-maintain mo 'yang grade mo. I don't want you to only have the above-average." Bilin sa 'kin ni Lola bago siya umalis ng bahay namin.

Pumunta siya dito dahil pinuntahan niya si Ate Cleo. Wala naman na talaga akong balak sana lumabas ng kwarto pero kumatok pa rin siya para i-bilin sa akin na bawal akong pumalpak.

Minsan iniisip ko paano kung hindi nalang nila ako naging pamilya. Siguro ay mas madali ang buhay nila dahil wala ng pabigat sakanila. I always try to keep up with their expectations because I didn't want to fail them.

Every word that was hurled at me gave me the feeling that I was being hit with a ball during a game. It would always hit me as if I couldn't avoid it. And no matter how often it is pounded on me, it still breaks me. I still have those bruises that are developing into scars.

Hindi gumagaling 'yung sugat at pasa na natatamo ko. At kahit ilang beses na 'ko natatamaan, nasasaktan pa rin ako. Hindi pa din ako namamanhid. 

Parehong araw na 'yon ay naisipan kong pumunta ng mall para bumili ng ibang school supplies ko. Naubos na kasi 'yung index cards at intermediate pad ko. Dahil nakauwi na si Papa at Mama, nadagdagan na 'yung allowance ko. Hindi ko na kailangan bayaran 'yung mga bills at nakukuha ko na 'yung tamang amount ng baon ko.

"Ma, aalis lang po ako." Paalam ko sakanya nang makita ko sa salas na nakaharap sa laptop pagkababa ko ng hagdan.

She lowered her gaze to survey me. "Bahala ka." 

Hindi nalang ako sumagot at dumiretso na sa sakayan para makarating agad ako doon. Naisip ko rin bumili ng ilang ingredients para sa Cinnamon. Dahil may allowance na ako, gusto ko sana bigyan si Sebastian. That's the least I can do for everything he did.

I went to the bookstore first. I was searching for my favorite brand of ballpen when someone grabbed it. I quickly averted my gaze to the man who is standing beside me. 

"Nauna ako dito," tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Isang ballpen nalang 'yon, e! That's the last one already.

"No. I was the first one." Hindi siya nagpapatalo.

"Mag-hanap ka nalang ng ibang brand. Nasanay na ako gamitin 'to." I pointed other brands of ballpens.

"Bakit ako 'yung maga-adjust-" 

"Adorian! Halika na, bibilhan nalang kita ng G-tech pagbalik ko dito!" Tinawag siya ng isang babae na nasa may exit na, dala-dala mga pinamili.

He sighed before turning his back, not looking at me again. Ang sungit niya! Ako naman talaga 'yong nauna!

Pagkatapos ko mamili sa bookstore ay pumunta na ako sa All About Baking para bumili ng mga ingredients para sa Cinnamon. This time, hindi ko na tinipid 'yung ingredients. Minsan lang naman ako gumawa at para rin naman kay Sebastian 'to.