My Unforgettable Spectrum (Cariñoso Series #1)

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

There are times in life when the realization hits us hard. The only time we will realize things and the never-ending series of 'what ifs' is after the action has been done already. No turning back. We couldn't undo things that have been done already.

The only thing we can do about the things we regret doing is improve ourselves. We could change ourselves and turn our experiences into lessons, which we could then hopefully use to help others who are going through the same thing.

I'm currently studying in the living room, but my mind was elsewhere. My mind is clouded by thoughts and a never-ending sequence of regrets. Regrets, it because I know I shouldn't have said that.

If I could just use a time machine to redo everything and eventually, said other words instead. Words that wouldn't scar our friendship.

Simula nang masabi ko 'yon, naramdaman ko 'yung distanya ng pagkakaibigan namin ni Sebastian. He would still go to the school with me, buy me food and accompany me but I know that there was an aloof already.

Hindi naman ako ganoon ka-manhid para hindi mahalata na parang iwas 'yung pagkakaibigan namin. At hindi ko rin i-ta-tanggi na nasasaktan ako kasi kinasanayan ko, e. Kinasanayan ko 'yung madaldal sya, pala-kwento, at 'yung kakanta sya kapag malungkot ako.

Pero ito 'yung ginusto ko 'di ba? This was a favor that I should do because it's one of my ways of repaying my family. My grandma.

Kahit magkasama kami, nararamdaman ko 'yung lamig lalo na tuwing sumasama si Sylvainne sa amin. It was like I became the bridge for the both of them. Sylvainne would always ask Sebastian out, assist him, and would care for him too. The things that I can't even do.

Hindi ko nababasa 'yung utak ni Sebastian kapag magkakasama kami ni Sylvainne. He would always have a blank expression. Madalas na rin silang ulanin ng asar ng mga estudyante that they look good together.

At kahit gaano kasakit, alam kong totoo 'yon. Gusto ko nalang bumalik kami sa dati. Nakakapagod dumistansya sa taong kinasanayan mong makasama araw-araw.

"Wala na bang ulam? Magluto ka nga!" Kuya Lucas entered the house, looking so wasted. Sumilip sya sa kusina at nang makita nyang walang pagkain ay ayan sya, nagwawala.

"Hindi pa 'ko nakakapag-grocery, Kuya. Hindi ko pa nakukuha 'yung monthly allowance para sa expenses dito sa buhay. Sa iyo raw pinadala sabi ni Mama." Sagot ko sakanya habang naghi-highlight ng mga kailangan ko imemorize.

"Wala akong pakialam! Sigurado naman akong may pera ka, 'di ba?! Iyon ang gamitin mo! Kulang ang pera na binibigay sa 'kin! Bilisan mo!" He enraged.

I subsisted. "O-okay, Kuya..."

Kinuha ko 'yung wallet sa kwarto ko para mag-grocery. Ayoko sana galawin 'yung allowance ko pero ano bang magagawa ko?

Dumiretso ako sa pinaka-malapit na grocery store para bumili ng mga pagkain. Pumunta ako sa meat section, iniisip kung ano 'yung pwedeng bilhin. I'll just cook Tinola. After buying some, tumingin muna ako sa coffee section para bumili ng kape.

And the moment I stopped my cart, I felt my heart stop beating too. I saw Sebastian pushing the cart while Sylvainne was walking, looking for something. Nakita ko na nilagay ni Sebastian 'yung kape na paborito ko sa cart nila. Nakasunod lang si Sebastian kay Sylvainne.

I shook my head when I thought of the reason he picked it was for me. Don't be so conceited Claire. He probably picked it because Sylvainne likes it. I suddenly recalled the time when Sylvainne saw me drinking the coffee that Sebastian bought. She told me that she would also like to try it and maybe she... liked it.