𝘼𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 [ 𝘼𝙐 𝙕𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙘𝙝𝙞 +18 ]

16: Let the living beware

"Can I kiss you?" Childe's eyes widened at Zhongli's question, not knowing if he had heard correctly. Zhongli wanted to kiss him? He looked away, finding the table incredibly interesting at the moment, feeling his cheeks turn slightly red. There was no way he would have misunderstood the brunette's words, he had asked permission to kiss him. And... Did he want that? Did he want to kiss Zhongli? He had kissed quite a few clients, mostly because he had been overpaid to do so. Childe never kissed anyone because he really wanted to, so that would be the first time he was going to kiss someone he wanted to kiss.

Childe looked back at the golden eyes, his stomach was freaking him out, but he nodded. Zhongli moved his hand slowly to his cheek, his fingers brushing his freckled skin gently. Childe's heart began to beat faster, and Childe wasn't sure if it was because of his nerves or because of Zhongli. The brunette began to close his eyes, his free hand searching for Childe's. He realized that, so he gave him what he wanted, seeing how his fingers entwined. And after a torturous wait, Zhongli finally kissed him.

Childe felt Zhongli's soft lips shyly press against his own, a strange sensation running through his body. He was still nervous, and he wasn't entirely sure if that was a good idea. He knew it was Zhongli, Childe was in love with him, right? And if the brunette was doing that, it was because he loved him too... Right? Everything was fine. He was kissing him gently, Zhongli's hand was gently cupping his cheek. It was something new, it was normal for him to be... Scared? Childe squeezed Zhongli's hand, while he moved his lips a little to have more contact with the brunette. The warm feeling was still with him somehow, but it wasn't as present as he had thought it would be.

They parted at last, Zhongli smiling brightly, cheeks completely flushed, golden eyes gleaming like the Cor Lapis while the light of the moon illuminated part of his face, Zhongli was beautiful, but the lighting at the time made it even more beautiful. Childe smiled back at him, forcing a smile, feeling his cheeks flush with embarrassment.

If he was in love with Zhongli... Why wasn't he as full of happiness as he was? Was he still the same...? Was he still pleasing others? Or even worse. Zhongli wasn't taking advantage of him, he was in love... But Childe was beginning to rethink his feelings. What if he had mistaken them for a crush? He would only be taking advantage of Zhongli... Right?

He had written the song thinking that he loved Zhongli, trying to put the feelings he had towards him into the lyrics. Had he been wrong? But then... What was that happiness he felt being with him?

"Childe," Zhongli called, his happy expression having been replaced by one of concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," He forced another smile. "I'm just... I'm excited," Zhongli frowned a little. Childe looked away, noticing how their hands were still intertwined.

"The apple and the moon thing were indirect," Zhongli said, making him meet his eyes again. "I love you, Childe," he confessed, his lips curving up. Childe would surely be overthinking things. He loved Zhongli too, he had just had bad experiences that affected him more than he realized. That's all. He wasn't taking advantage... He would end up forgetting all those unpleasant memories, and he could enjoy the kisses, just as he enjoyed the hugs and the hair rubs from him.

"Me too," Childe answered, squeezing the other's hand a little more. He didn't want to spoil the moment, it was Zhongli's birthday... He loved him. They both loved each other. Why did he feel bad? Why wasn't he as happy as the brunette? What problem did he have!? Zhongli winced, Childe was exerting too much force in his grip. The redhead noticed, pulling his hand away from Zhongli's. "Sorry..."

"What happens?" Zhongli asked, "If I've pressured you in any way, I..."

"No," Childe shook his head, swallowing hard as he looked down. "It's just... This is new. I've never kissed someone because I wanted to, you know? Much less have I fallen in love... Until now," Childe clenched his own hands, biting the inside of his cheek. "I'm sorry."