𝘼𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 [ 𝘼𝙐 𝙕𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙘𝙝𝙞 +18 ]

23: Two birds

CW: Smut

If anyone wants to skip, the smut starts in the first '—', and finishes in "Childe took a deep breath, tightening the guitar in his grip, glancing up the steps to the stage."

You can do ctrl + f to search automatically that parts in the text.

—

Childe gasped in frustration, restraining himself from damaging the guitar strings. He gritted his teeth, frowning at the score he had created himself. He had been practicing the melody of the song for more than three hours, and he always got the same part wrong. He rubbed his temple in exasperation, noticing how the golden eyes were watching him from the other end of the couch, having stopped reading the book.

The concert was the next day, and Childe couldn't get the end of the song right. Why? It's not like the notes were very difficult, he had practiced them countless times with Venti and there was never any problem. Perhaps it was because the nerves of the concert were consuming him internally, accompanied by all the thoughts that these entailed.

"Are you okay?" Zhongli asked with the book in his hands, drawing his attention. Childe looked back at him, nodding.

"Yeah... I just don't get this last part, and it sucks," he explained, looking down at the sheet music, frowning.

He hadn't shown him the lyrics to the song, since he had written it expressly for him. Zhongli had told him that he would attend the concert, and that also made him nervous. He knew what he had written, he had decided what he would do the next day... But he preferred to avoid thinking about it, otherwise, he would probably regret it and end up chickening out. He wasn't going to back down. He had made a decision, and it was already too late to regret it.

"Maybe I can help you?" Zhongli asked, putting the book on the table and walking over to him. Childe looked at him confused.

"Do you even know how to play the guitar?" Childe questioned, raising an eyebrow. Zhongli hummed, carefully removing the instrument from his hands.

"I haven't practiced in years, but I used to play it," he explained, bending down to pick up the sheet music and beginning to examine the notes on it. "Venti taught me a bit, but then I gave it up for lack of time," Childe watched his face in profile, his stomach shrinking. Zhongli put the sheet down on the table, averting his gaze to him. He opened his mouth to say something, but fell silent, examining him now, golden eyes looking at him as if wanting to discover all his secrets. "Ajax, are you okay?"

Childe shivered, swallowing hard. Zhongli looked at him worriedly, frowning slightly.

"I'm afraid of what might happen tomorrow," he excused himself. And yes, that was technically the truth. Although there was another factor, he couldn't explain that to Zhongli. The brunette pursed his lips, setting the guitar aside and reaching out to encircle him with his arms. Childe felt his chest tighten, reciprocating the hug despite his heart telling him to stop. He was being selfish.

"I'll be with you," Zhongli whispered in his ear, gently stroking his orange hair. "Nothing will happen, okay? I promise you," Childe knew what was going to happen, but he was afraid that with all the love Zhongli gave him he might reconsider his decision.

The last time they fought was earlier in the week, and it was already Saturday. Perhaps Zhongli had given up on asking to see a psychologist? Childe had no idea, but Zhongli still worried about him, though soon he wouldn't have to worry about that anymore.

The nightmares of both had remained, Zhongli kept trying to try to help him when he was at his worst... But all was in vain. Childe knew perfectly well that Zhongli's life had been made worse by his guilt, by his selfishness. Because he couldn't behave like a good boyfriend, he couldn't control his impulses, he couldn't show him so much affection... He can't love him as the way Zhongli loved him. All of this was what pushed him to make a decision, something that would put an end to this torture for Zhongli.