Anime Prank Calls (Warning: lot of otakuness)

Laxus Dreyar - Fairy Tail

Me: I know who I wanna call ladies!

Nana: Who?

Me: Laxus Dreyar!

Nana: Lighting McGrumpypants?

Rico: That guy who Freed has a crush on?

Nana: Wannabe supersaiyan?

Rico: That guy that Mirajane has a crush on?

Me: Yes, yes, yes and no, you know I wouldn't give Mira up to anyone.

Rico: Huh?

Nana: *whispers to Rico* She has a thing for white hair, and a lot of other things but we can discuss that later.

Rico: Oh I see.

Me: Just hand me the phone...

Rico: YES SIR!

Me: *dials*

Laxus: Hello?

Me: Are you Laxus Dreyar?

Laxus: Yeah, why?

Me: I'm just wondering...how can you and your dad be so fucking tall when your granddad is a midget?!?!

Laxus: I don't know.

Me: No but seriously how? Did Makarov do it with someone really tall? But that's not really how genetics works...wait are you taller than Ivan? Cause if you are that would be really weird. OR MAYBE YOU ARE ADOPTED!

Laxus: You talk too much.

Me: Well...uh...well...fuck you man...

Laxus: I'm gonna hang up. *hangs up*

Me: Uurggg...I'm gonna call again in a few hours.

Nana: *pats my back* you did well soldier, you did well.

-------------time skip because I say so----------

Me: OKAY NOW THAT I HAVE CHEERED UP I WILL CALL AGAIN!

Nana: OKAY!

Me: *dials*

Laxus: Hello?

Me: *changes voice* who do you like better, Freed or Mira?

Laxus: Huh?

Me: Who.do.you.like.better?

Laxus: I don't know.

Me: OR MAYBE YOU LIKE SOMEONE ELSE!!!!!

Laxus: No, I don't like anyone.

Me: Come on you have to answer.

Laxus: No I don't.

Me: Yeah you do so suck it up and answer like a man!

Laxus: Fine, Freed I guess...

Me: I KNEW IT!

Laxus: Only because he's in my team.

Me: LIAR! You liiiiiiiiiike him~

Laxus: I know a guy you would be good friends with.

Me: Who?

Laxus: MY FUCKING FIST IN TOUR FACE!

Me: I thought you would say Happy but fair enough.

Laxus: What's the point of even asking me who I like better?

Me: Because if you would've said Mira-chan I would kill you.

Laxus: Yeah sure.

Me: You have yet to learn the true power of a Fangirl young one.

Laxus: Okay.

Me: Just go buy a ring already and marry him, bye. *hangs up*

Nana: Ken...

Me: I know, I know...why does everyone have to ruin my otp's?