Everything There is a Reason

My Love

Dwight was in with Demelza, when Ross came in, Jeremy was hungry so he put him in his high chair and asked Jenny to get a plate for Jeremy so they could settle him for the night.  He was still feeding Jeremy when Dwight came down. He looked at Dwight and said "any change". Dwight shook his head and made like he was going to eat Jeremy's food which had the little boy giggling. Then Dwight said "I think Demelza and Jeremy should stay with me it is clear that you love your son but you pay no thoughts to the young woman up there! Any other man would want her, me included. It kills me to see her being treated as someone you think should just accept what you want. Today before she left when she asked about Elizabeth being at Twenwith, did you give any thoughts to what ran through Demelza's mind? Elizabeth was just here telling her how you were going to sell Nampara to support her and you just expected her to believe you wouldn't do that. "Jenny huffed at that. Dwight said "do you have any thing to add". She turned around and said "she has been abused by men her whole life, she finally falls in love with one man she wishes would love her back and he acts ashamed of her in front of the woman he pines for. If it wasn't for the love of that little boy she would not be married to you. She should have left that day before you had her". Jenny was crying as she walked out of the house. Prudie said "you should have kicked the witch out as soon as you found out you owned the place, after what she did to Francis but no the lovely Elizabeth must be shown devotion and adoration while that one up there should just be please she gets anything". She threw her apron down and left also. Dwight looked at Ross. "They will live with me until you figure out if you really love her whole heartedly". Ross said "no they will stay here I do love her and nobody or anything is taking her away from me again!" "You know she may have come to a decision before this happened to the contrary", Dwight asked? Jeremy finished and Ross saw he was tired so he heated some water and placed Jeremy in the sink and bathed him. Jeremy was splashing and laughing at Ross and Dwight's antics and he started to cry. "Airs moma, ermy ants moma" Ross picked him up dried him and dressed him for bed. "Momma's sleeping you don't want to wake her do you", Ross asked him? Jeremy little lip pouted when he shook his head. Ross sat in Demelza's chair and sang his little boy asleep he placed him in the cot in his fathers old room and sat on the bed and asked himself did he love Demelza, and why didn't he kick Elizabeth out after Francis, he knew she didn't love him and carried on affairs, he was still thinking when Dwight came in". Ross quirked and eyebrow and Dwight shook his head. Ross then said, "why don't you lay down and get some rest I will take first shift with her. I'll wake you if she wakes." Dwight nodded and Ross went to be by Demelza's side. Her face was looking worse then earlier, he knew this was his fault always had to be the loyal friend but where was Elizabeth's loyalty, she had none but to herself, that is what he hated about the Warleggan's. Elizabeth was no more beautiful then Demelza in fact Demelza was more so. Intimacy with Elizabeth was less then average. So what was it, he knew he didn't love her not like he did Demelza. He was so confused on why he would let her back in if she wanted him now it was because of Twenwith. He would make sure she not live there again as long as he maintained control,
He was holding Demelza's hand and put his head on the bed. He was dreaming of searching for someone and saw Elizabeth standing there all proper with her hands behind her back saying you will always be mine she moves aside and shows an axe and there laying on the ground is Demelza her heart is in Elizabeth's hands. He jerked awake! Looking at his wife who has a heart of gold and thinks if Demelza's heart is gold then Elizabeth's is black.  I think of how she cheated on me with Francis how she cheated on Francis with me, who else did she cheat with? She connived to get what she wants, where my lovely wife gives, never asking for more then is given and accepts it graciously. Elizabeth sneers if she is not given what she wants. She is a female George Warleggan. Demelza moans, Ross turns his head to look at his wife she calls out his name. Ross stokes her hair and tells her he is there. Demelza whispers "look after Jeremy?" Ross gets up and runs to the door and calls for Dwight who comes running. Ross holds her hand. Dwight says "Demelza what is it?" "It hurts I don't want to live with the pain anymore" Demelza moans! Ross said "you must live for Jeremy and me." Demelza tells them it hurts to much. Dwight gives her a little more lodium. Dwight looks at Ross and tells him "she has a fever get some cool rags some tepid water and some more blankets. It is going to be a long night". Ross goes gets the water then brings Jeremy up to the spare room he doesn't want him sleeping down stairs by himself. Demelza calls out for Garrick. He remembers he hasn't seen him since they brought Demelza home.  Ross asks Dwight, "have you seen Garrick?" Dwight looks at Ross and shakes his head and tells him to go. Ross gets up and goes outside calling for Garrick every few minutes then he hears barking and finds Garrick tied to a stump by the cave he unties him and runs back to Nampara he runs into the master bedroom when Ross lets him in and licks Demelza hand she whispers "Garrick" then Garrick goes into where Jeremy is laying and lays by his feet.
While a storm rages outside Demelza fever rages. Dwight grows more concerned. Ross is hit by one of his moods. Dwight orders Ross to go sleep or get some air. He sits in the library thinking over how much time he has lost. He realizes that he left his class, him being a gentleman, dictate whom he should be with. Something he always claimed didn't matter to him. Something he despised. He needed to get some air. He walked along the beach letting the rain pelt him, he deserves the pain. His father didn't let anyone interfere with him taking his mother for a wife. He loved her and if anyone had a problem with that, then them be damned, Demelza was a perfect match for him. She had grew into belonging to his farm and in his heart, he loved her. She was smart she taught herself to read. She was beautiful even in worn and old dresses. In fancier clothes like his mothers blue dress she outshines even the most beautiful lady. She cared for workers no matter their status. Ross knew his mother would have approved of her as would have his father. So what was keeping him from giving his whole heart to her. His thoughts of status. Was he of such a grand status himself? His home was in horrible shape until she brightened it with her work and her smile. He loved her more then anything but what if her poor background caused her to die early like his mother how could he take losing her forever? He would be alone like that time he was a kid. Without her with him he would be lost anyway! That was the main problem he couldn't stand to lose her. It was already too late if she left him now he would not survive. Nothing else matter but his wife and children. He went back to Nampara and fell asleep in her bed off the library,
Dwight felt tugging at his arm. He woke up to find a Jeremy looking at him, "moma ot a bonobo". Dwight picked him up and said "yes momma got a booboo". Jeremy said "ermy iss tit mak tit betr"? "Jeremy can kiss it make it better" Dwight told him. Jeremy kissed his mother's swollen face. Demelza open her swollen eyes and said "my lover". "Momma et betr"? Demelza responded "Momma will get better." She shut her eyes and fell back to sleep. Dwight said "let's take you to Pappa to get you something to eat". Jeremy nodded. Ross woke to brown eyes so much like his staring into his eyes. He laughed, "my boy good morning to you.". Jeremy was all serious said "ermy unry". Ross asked "so you are hungry, my boy "? Jeremy nodded. "Well let's see how momma is then Pappa and will get you something to eat okay"? Jeremy nodded again and told his father,"moma betr ermy iss" "you kissed her better, why didn't we think on that earlier" Ross asked him? Jeremy shrugged like grownups are stupid! Dwight said "she woke a little then fell back to sleep". Ross asked Jeremy "if he could see momma for a moment", before Ross went up. Jeremy insisted Ross take him with him. Ross was stroking her hair saying "baby come back to me". Jeremy said "apa iss er ike tis". Ross said "okay kiss her like this" Ross kissed her pouring his love for her into it. Demelza stirred Ross said "yes my love Jeremy and I are here. "